Feeling betrayed and not sure what to do at work.

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    Hello, I want to ask for advice. I am in my early 30s working in a big corporation (middle manager with 3 team member, high salary, relaxing job.) I have been working here for around 3 year+ and last year there is this new reorganisation with new senior manager and head of department.

    There are so many uncertainty with the new leadership, and I confused myself, but my team think I am holding information. My new manager (Lets called him John) also knew my salary and said i earn a bit more than him, he keep telling when I make claim expenses or appraisal bonus, “You have high-salary already.”

    He went around to my team asked, “What can be improved from Doremi?” So my team upset with me said, “No transparency, unclear direction, no guidance / coaching within this 3 years.” WTH when my team get high grade within this 3 years. Then he went to the new head and mentioned, “Heard from her team member, Doremi didn’t do anything, no direction, unclear, etc.” during the performance appraisal (Senior management meeting.)

    One of the senior manager (Lets called her Lia) then asked him, “IF Doremi is so useless, not doing anything, then just give her bad review and let her go!” But John said, “Give her normal rating, she is still leading the team.” John has 5 middle manager, he gave everyone “Superstar” rating except me “Normal” performance rating.

    I heard all this story from Lia and I felt devastated. John and Lia didn’t like each other, so they might try to sabotage each other. I talked my team member, John really did asked about me to them, and they thought it is for improvement.

    I didn’t know what should I do? I can’t find job it’s so difficult now, and John still pretended to like me, “If I am unhappy with you why do I give you normal rating and not bad rating? Why I gave you good project?” He is very manipulative with two faces.

    In one hand, I just can close my ear, improve my job and get good salary to pay my house mortage. In another hand, I felt betrayed and humiliated he said that in front of head and senior management meetings. They will think I am so bad?

    Please give me guidance, thank you.










    Hi Doremi

    I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your clearly jealous new manager trying to sabotage your work.

    The plus side, he has revealed his hand and you are in a better position to protect yourself now.

    It’s understandable to be hurt and upset by his actions. I do think that your results speak for themselves though. Keep on doing what you do best and try to protect yourself.

    See how you feel in a few days when it isn’t as raw. Also, I don’t know if your company has this policy. But if you aren’t happy with a review and don’t feel it accurately reflects your work don’t sign it and speak to HR.


    how if your boss doesn’t like you?

    Sarah Jeanne Browne

    Sometimes there are personality conflicts within an organization, someone attempting to sabotage your success, or inappropriate behavior.

    Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.

    Your work environment impacts your mental health.

    But you can also put up boundaries as to what you allow to affect you. Can you just do the daily task regardless of validation? Can you take constructive criticism (so long as it’s respectful and exactly that – constructive)? Can you self-advocate or address your needs with a coworker or manager? Can you talk to HR or someone higher up than your manager? Can you let your manager know what you will and will not tolerate?

    Okay so personally if it were me I would just look for another job. I know that’s not easy. But I can’t be around toxicity. It’s about how much you are willing to tolerate and if you can detach and just think “I’m doing this to survive. That’s all this is.”

    I’ve been in fields with children at daycare centers where there was abuse or coworkers sabotaging me. Someone once told me if there’s a sick feeling in your stomach, that’s a sign (from God, universe, whatever), that something isn’t right. That’s a gut feeling. If you already know the situation isn’t right for you and can’t be mended – either tolerate it with boundaries and self-advocate OR walk away.

    You can’t live with how it is currently.

    Visualize your success. What would your dream job or position be? How would it make you feel? I don’t really buy into the whole manifesting thing but sometimes starting over is an adventure and it’s okay to be open to it.

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