Hi,
I dont know if that will help but I am going through the same kind of thing. I have a husband (with whom I have a pretty turbulent relationship but didnt think of leaving) and three kids. This fall I graduated from college and decided to renovate my home. While renovating I threw out pretty much everything I didn`t really enjoy and made everything the way I love.

While almost done with the renovation (end of October) I all the sudden started to feel an urge to leave my husband and write to one guy from 20 years ago. We saw each other once at the student disco. We danced, he brought me home, not even kissed and never saw each other again in person but he was on my friend list on facebook since 2012 and since then we may be shared 10 likes and short comments. I noticed lately that he got an interest in yoga and spirituality and I wrote him a short private message on that subject. I got a smily face as an answer and thought that I`ll never write him back.

Next day I was walking on the street and suddenly turned my head and saw a number 7616 on the building. I got shocked because thats his year and day of birth. And remembered that when once in the past I congratulated him with his birthday (jan 16) I was kind of chased by that 16 all day long - I took a bus number 16 to the location with the building number 1016 and further to the 161:) I spent all day thinking and looking closely at his posts and realized that for the previous month hes been suddenly giving me lots of attention. He is in music industry and most of his posts are the songs. So I listened on my Iphone the last one he posted and went to sleep. I woke up in the morning with that song. I thought that I didn`t close facebook and my kids are playing with my phone but that was the alarm on the new radio in their room which I bought but never set up (I guess they did)!

Another things started to happen. I was watching one of his music video and liked one dance move. I tried it and liked and before I know I danced the whole day. And then another. And I realized that I didnt dance for 20 years and I used to really like it. I a study music for 10 years in music studio but I wasnt feeling happy lately and forgot about all this good things:) On top of that I realized that a low back ache which I struggled with for years was gone because of the dancing.

Anyways I decided to write him again and since then weve been having a communication, a little weird one but fun - I write him and he posts song as a response. I see him in my dreams all the time and wake up with the feeling that hes around. I feel the pins and needles in the body and heaviness and pressure in my chest. It was especially intense through november-mid december, so intense that I had to stop sexual life with my husband and went to see a psychotherapist.

Lately I`ve learned that he was going to marry someone he loved and they were making plans to travel to meet his parents on the end of September but she changed her mind last minute so basically when I entered his life he was heart broken and in a terrible mood. I am not sure I know what is on his mind now. He sounds from very excited to very anxious and wonder wether he goes through the same strange feelings.

I made a decision to leave my husband regardless of how that story will end. Ive been lying to myself that Ill be able to get used to his way of leaving and his goals which is all different than mine. I decided to write you mostly because I found it weird that my story is happening around the same time:)

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by Tatiana.