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Feeling lonely

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • February 9, 2017 at 9:30 pm #127135
    Ravneet
    Participant

    I have a group of nine girl friends. These are the people I go to my classes with and also the people who live next door. My father died 2 years ago to alcoholism. I was suffering from PTSD. That’s where it all started. My friends chose to have each other as roommates and made me live alone. I live away from home. I was devastated. But I continued to behave normally. My grades dropped that year. Now, when I think everything is fine, all of a sudden they revealed that they do not like me. I know that in a group of people not everyone likes the other. But these people said that they do not at all like me. I try my best to help everyone and I have never harmed any of them. But my past makes me a bit introverted person. They think that I am a sort of person who behaves sweetly but never wants the betterment of anyone. Well, now my problem is that i cannot anyhow ignore them or cut them off. Now I think every action of theirs is harmful to me. I think I am living among beasts. I want peace of mind. Otherwise I will go into depression. Please help.

    February 10, 2017 at 9:26 am #127182
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ravneetk:

    I would like to better understand your situation, so I ask:

    All your nine girlfriends told you that they don’t like you? Did they tell you that as a group of nine or individually?

    When they said that you don’t want the betterment of anyone, what do you think they meant by it?

    How are they behaving toward you presently?

    anita

    February 10, 2017 at 11:01 am #127188
    Ravneet
    Participant

    Hi Anita! Thanks for helping! Not all, three of them told me and none protested, so I assumed no one ever liked me. We were sitting in a group at this time. In a group they dont mind me coming along. But individually none of them likes to be with me or help me. And yeah, as i said that I am an introvert, I dont share much with people unless asked. There were a few good things that happened to me academically like good internships, good grades etc. i never spoke about them until results were out. I am like that since my childhood. But these people thought that I am backstabbing them by silently working on my academics rather than being vocal about my future plans.

    February 10, 2017 at 11:13 am #127191
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ravneetk:

    I don’t understand the complaint or complaints of those three friends: what is wrong with “silently working on (your) academics” and why do you need to be “vocal about (your) future plans”? Did they feel that you were deceiving them in some way? How did they imagine you were backstabbing them, help me understand…?

    anita

    February 11, 2017 at 12:16 am #127229
    Ravneet
    Participant

    Yeah they thought I was backstabbing them by not being vocal about my future plans as maybe they thought that they need to know about the opportunities I am applying for, otherwise I am getting all the good things alone and backstabbing them. But they themselves only think about their internships and stuff. So am I not allowed to think about my internships and apply wherever I want to! I just think it makes them scared that an average grade student has improved so well. And also, talking about them, I was never aware of the opportunities they were applying for. So i did not feel the need to tell them about mine.

    February 11, 2017 at 8:40 am #127241
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ravneetk:

    So the three that told you that they disliked, and the six who did not protest, kept their opportunities to themselves and you kept your opportunities to yourself. The others thought you should share with them your opportunities although they did not share theirs with you- that is not reasonable on their part.

    If they shared their opportunities with you and you didn’t reciprocate, I would understand their complaint.

    You wrote: “I am living among beasts. I want peace of mind”-

    How are they being like beasts to you?

    anita

    February 11, 2017 at 9:03 pm #127254
    yongsua
    Participant

    First of all, I would like to apologize for my bad English because it is not my mother tongue. What I would say is that you are mixing with the wrong group of people, or to be more appropriate, you are incompatible to them, vice versa. As you admitted yourself as an introvert and that makes you only speak when you are asked. I think this will create some sort of misunderstanding between you and them, so I believe that your introvert nature has made them feel that you are rather selfish, carefree, and strange.

    IMHO, I would suggest that if you still value your friendship with them, then you need to find a way to make things work. Try to take the initiative to communicate more with them and share more of your experience. However, I doubt their sincerity as a friend to you, as you mentioned that they mainly think and care about only their own stuffs. So, beware of them taking advantage of you.

    If you don’t value your friendship with them anymore, then try to avoid them as much as you can. Of course, you need to do this in an implicit way or in a little smart way. I bet you can do this.

    Anyway, I hope you can meet the right or compatible person or people to be your friends. Good luck. Thanks and Regards.

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