Dear nkronsch:

What do you think motivated you to hitchhike and travel? When I did, I was motivated by the desire to escape the trap of living at home- I felt ANYTHING and ANYWHERE was better than “home.”

Was the home of your childhood a place you dreamed of leaving, and is the rolling stone life you mentioned, is it like running away from home, again and again, as in my case?

anita

Dear nkronsch:

You wrote: “I firmly believe people are not meant to work until they die. Unfortunately in today’s world that is what is expected.” I live in the U.S as well, and this is not the reality I am aware of: Lots of people retire and live decades post retirement. Lots of people are unemployed.

“It (living on the fringe) was the first place I felt truly accepted. Like I belonged… relationships were straightforward and real. People either cared or they didn’t, no pretending.”- didn’t feel that you belonged “home” then? Were relationships at home, between parents, between parents and you… were those fake, pretending?

“Tried the meds, therapy, etc.”- to treat or manage what?

I am asking these questions in hopes of being able to help (you asked for help).

anita

Dear nkronsch:

Whatever it is that you feel (not liking parenting) is okay- feelings are not a matter of choice. We feel what we feel. What you feel and what you think, really, is your personal business. You don’t owe anyone (or …society) to feel this way and not that way. This is one individual freedom that you can claim and enjoy wherever you are.

Behavior, what we do, theoretically it is a matter of choice; I say theoretically because often people are impulsive, driven to do this or that. Habits and addictions are strong, and choices don’t feel like choices.

You have the freedom to think and feel anything with no judgment of yourself. There is another freedom: to choose your actions thoughtfully, mindfully, not impulsively. You can claim this freedom wherever you are.

You have the freedom to have NO fake relationships in your life- what a freedom!

Most of the societal entrapments are upheld in our lives by that part of our brain that is raining on our own parades, so to speak. It is that voice that “speaks for society”- identify that voice, get to know it… and that is another freedom available for you.

I will soon get off the computer. Be back in about 11 hours. If you’d like write more, what comes to mind as you read this post and otherwise. Will reply tomorrow!

anita

You are welcome, nkronsch. Till the morrow-
anita

Nate: Let me get this straight… you were living the life of a hobo/transient/vagabond/etc., you knocked up a woman, now you’re stuck with the situation, and are unhappy that you can’t go back to the hobo life? That about sum it up? Seems to be a serious issue with laziness.

#1 Hopping the next train out-of-town isn’t going to solve your problems. In my neck of the woods, it would turn you into a corpsicle, which would, in a way, I guess, solve your problems. However, when you impregnated that woman, you irrevocably changed your position. Not simply from a societal standpoint, but also from a biological standpoint. Care of offspring is generally instinctive in mammals, and probably relates to the more-or-less hardwired drive to transfer genes to the next generation. Love it or hate it, you co-created your daughter, and hopping the next train isn’t going to un-make her.

#2 The work until you die issue isn’t just for the 9-5 set. Ever stop to think that if nobody actually worked, there would be no trains to ride, no shelters to come to in bad weather, etc. Here’s the kicker: you work in life whether you are hopping freight trains, or doing the 9-5 thing.

#3 You are financially where you are because instead of developing marketable skills, you elected to live a transient lifestyle. Depending on where you are, there are community colleges that have night classes, etc. Heck, even in Podunkville where I live, there is a community college that offers night classes. So, the question is: are you going to put out the effort to better yourself, or adopt the “work is for schmucks” position?

While I wasn’t a hobo, for some time after law school, I took a series low-paying jobs in a very low spot in my life, while I was blaming a bunch of things on other people. I decided that I was the only person who could change my career outlook, and so I did. Was it easy? Heck no. But, it was worth it.

Anita: Hehe the Id and the superego. I wish parents would imprint more superego on their spawn sometimes. Contrary to popular politically-correct ideology, there is still a time and a place for a good swift kick in the arse.