I have been afraid of intimacy since I can remember. Im not sure exactly where it came from, but I have my theories.

My parents. They were never the hug and feelings type so I wasn’t either. My father shamed and condemned feelings in general. He said that emotions where for the weak minded and I believed him. He reprimanded my mom for being too emotional. So now, I feel weak and ashamed every time I cry or talk about my feelings. I don’t feel like showing affection such as hugging and kissing bc I feel like it’s shame worthy and cheesy. I think I should be better than emotions and that I shouldn’t have them (I know it’s ridiculous but I can’t help feeling that way).