It has been two weeks since he called it off, major reason: he didn’t love me anymore, he didn’t have any romantic feelings when he saw me. Also, he said we were so different, personality wise and hobbies wise. I did think what drifted us apart, I loved him so much that I lost myself without knowing. I wasn’t like that when I first met him, I was once independent, outgoing and fun to be with. But after together for so long,  I changed without even knowing. I was too clingy and too reliable to him, we didn’t honestly let each other know what we had in , we didn’t communicate properly. We had plans to get married, but plans were just plans, we didn’t know how to work towards our plans.

Thanks to him. I see what I need to work on, I need to find my better self, sometimes I looked back, I would ask “why I became like that?”, I didn’t quite like who I saw either. I was heartbroken, now, I feel better about myself. I start to challenge myself, do things I didn’t set my mind to, I find peace with myself. And my heart doesn’t ache as much, I still miss him though. We didn’t block each other on social media, but I try to stay away from social media for a while. I want to find myself first.

Funny how we only know what love is when we aren’t together, I think I still love him, and willing to love him once more. I know for now, I should only think about myself and stop worrying things I cannot control, but it always come into my mind “can we get back together?” “can my new self attract him?”, I still don’t how to let go, is it a false hope?