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Forgiving Myself For Hurting A Loved One

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  • #68514
    Megan Edie
    Participant

    I did something I’m kicking myself in the butt for, and I’m going to start this post so I can hopefully get some much needed feedback from other users.

    About two weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend of two months. I was feeling depressed and really down because my hormones were way out of whack (I have PMDD – Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder).

    I explained myself and things are beginning to patch up (we’re getting back together, thankfully). We gave each other some space and we’re able to talk again, but I’m not rushing anything because I know how much of an impact it had. I apologized to him and I’m not expecting him to want to have things immediately back to the way they were, but as far as I’m concerned, he seems ready to pick back up where we left off. Which is okay with me. I would love to have things back to the way they were.

    My only issue is that I still feel bad about it. He’s clearly forgiven me, but it seems I’m having a hard time forgiving myself and moving on. I’ve taken the time to try some things to balance out my hormones so they aren’t so bad and I’ve taken some action by labeling my calendar – I want to make sure this never happens again. Do these things just take time to heal from when the other person has obviously forgiven you? What are some suggestions for getting past this and moving on? All I want is to move on from this. What I did is never going to go away, but what are some ways I can stop getting emotionally distressed over it? How can I make it so I don’t constantly get reminded of what I did every time I talk to him and every time I see him?

    #68517
    Anne
    Participant

    Write out what you’d say to another poster who was having trouble forgiving themselves 🙂 Then read it back, to yourself, with self compassion and care.

    The block that you’re feeling is most likely shame – not guilt, which is based on remorse for your actions, but a sense that you are flawed and unworthy. Please try to remember that yes, you are flawed, as are we all, but you are still worthy of love and forgiveness 🙂

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 12 months ago by Anne.
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