Last year I went on holiday with a group of friends. Unfortunately I was in a very bad place at the time (my grandmother died a week before the planned trip) and I upset my closest friend. I had a difficult year overall feeling very low – eventually ended up on meds and counselling etc. As I got better I tried to get in touch my friend to apologise. However no matter what I tried she refused to accept any apology. She basically refused to speak to me in person and eventually after a long time did reply via an email. In the email she accused me of all sorts of things – of trying to turn people against her etc, being upset that she went on holiday etc. Now I disagree with a lot of this – in my eyes I was just trying to keep away from her a bit at the time of the holiday as she was being a bit sharp tongued and I was quite sensitive at the time and worried that I would say something.
Anyway to cut a long story short the last time i head from her was in november via this email. We have mutual friends so sometimes I see her and sometimes I have to work with her as well. I am really struggling to cope with seeing her – I return home really upset each time. I just feel sad every time I see her and I miss her as a person. She was a really close friend and I thought of her almost like a sister.
How do I get over this? i have tried to distract myself etc but I find myself thinking about it on a daily basis. I have to accept that there is nothing I can do and I have to accept her decision but how do i find a way to move forward myself?
I replied to her email. At which point she said she would read it tomorrow and accused me of emotionally blackmailing her. She never wrote any thing back after that and I left her alone.
The only thing i sent after that was merry xmas on xmas day but she didn’t reply till early hours of the next day. I have seen her since and she pretends we get on but we used to be so close and now we can just talk a bit of day to day stuff.
Do you have a copy of the email you sent her, the one she accused you of being an emotional blackmail? If you can and want, you can copy and paste it here, delete any details you don’t want to share on this public forum, of course. If you do I will read it and reply further when I am back to the computer in about sixteen hours from now.