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- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 4 months ago by CT.
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August 1, 2015 at 1:31 pm #81016PathOfPeaceParticipant
Hello Everyone,
Hope your having a great weekend. Here is the trouble Im wrestling with. Over the past couple years I have really tried to work on myself and the many inner problems I have. I can say at this time Im doing much better as a person that I should/want to be. With that being said, Im still struggling on how to deal with my surrounding people. Family, Wife, Friends that havent lifted a finger to fix their lifes. They dont know how to deal with emotions well, anger, watching what they say to people or myself. So when I interact with any of them, they kinda drag me down with their unhealthy ways of dealing with problems or conflict.
My question I ask is how do I keep heading in the right direction and not let their lack of personal growth try to pull me down? I know for friends and family I could just limit time or walk away. Cant do that with a wife. So I need suggestions other than just walk away or limit time with said people.
Deep in my heart I would like to just have positive people around me at all times but that isnt possible. Im not going to throw away family, wife, friends because they arent mature in the sense they need to be.
August 1, 2015 at 4:20 pm #81029CTParticipantThinker it’s great that you have taken the time to work on yourself and the inner problems you have. Sometimes with others acceptance is the key. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. You are distressed by their unhealthy ways of dealing with problems but you can only advise to the best of your ability. After this it is up to them to reach their own conclusions. Ask yourself, do you expect others to behave, think, and act in the same way as you may do? Each person is different, people have to make mistakes themselves to gain insight into their own shortcomings. Accepting this and realizing that you actually have very little control over others is key. You can facilitate growth by being nuturing and understanding but you cannot force it. Everyone must go on their own journey just as you have done.
August 2, 2015 at 5:05 am #81044PathOfPeaceParticipantThanks CT, I think thats the next thing I will try to work on. Acceptance. Its not easy when the people in your life bring their problems to your front doorstep. I will try my best.
August 2, 2015 at 9:51 am #81060CTParticipantThinker
You are right it’s not easy, acceptance is always difficult but remember everyone must take ownership of their problems just like you have done. We cannot expect others to solve all our problems, that’s not how life works and it’s not how the world works. As a caring person you probably feel like you want to help all the time but in the long term this only creates more problems for the people you love and care about.
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