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April 24, 2017 at 11:24 am #146501
priya bhardwajParticipantHi
Im from India and 25 year old women.
I’m preparing for one of the toughest exams in India . I’m bit ambitious but I keep thinking about getting big and not really taking action. I know the problem but I’m stuck in this perpetual loop of procrastination and it’s been 3 years. Whenever I get motivated to sit study and work hard it’s like my brains actually picks something to really worry or obsess about or some work which looks very important and I have to complete it .
Like sometime my brain obsess about my complicated relationship with my bf and I have to find a solution to safe myself but at end I keep moving in the loop. Sometime my brain will get started on how to fix some misunderstanding with friends and all.
If there is nothing to obsess my mind will tell me how I need a new shoe badly and have to go shopping right away or to buy some presents.
It all seems so real. It’s not like that I can’t function ever when the exams are approaching near May be month away or so I can really focus and do my best but unfortunately by that time it’s too late to cover everything.
Othertime when I study, I just read few line and I feel so accomplished and start watching YouTube videos for next so many hours
I really know the problem but just can’t find a solution to break it.
It’s been 3 years I’ve been dealing this with good performing days and bad .
Please tell me how to go about it .
Thanks
April 24, 2017 at 11:39 am #146511
AnonymousGuestDear priya Bhardwaj:
Clearly, you don’t want to study for the exam. You experience the studying is very unpleasant, so you don’t want to do it.
The most basic instinct we share with all animals is withdrawing from pain. You experience studying for this tough exam as painful, so you withdraw- your brain literally withdraw from it by distracting from it.
Can you share more about your discomfort studying for this exam, any thoughts you are aware going through your brain as you think about studying and as you start to study?
* Will be back to the computer in 7 hours or so.
anita
April 25, 2017 at 12:47 am #146619priya bhardwajParticipantHello Anita
Thank you for your quick reply.
Its not any specific thought. It’s thinking about everything. Sometime some thoughts which makes me anxious and I dwell on this for hours and sometimes pleasant day dreaming . It’s a sort of procrastination. The moment the read few lines I get extremely gratified and take a break which is obviously longer than I intended
Most of people I met in life , tells me I’m extremely intelligent but it gives me some sort of identity crisis because my intelligence doesn’t have a proof of any result. So may be I’m just dumb with this smart facade .
It’s not like that I don’t want to achieve my aim for what I’m studying. Impact that is the only thing I want to do in life . And once I get in I think I will be able to do the justice to job. I have many plans to be in a influential position and help people.
But I just don’t seem to break the barrier and work hard day and night to achieve my aim .
April 25, 2017 at 10:15 am #146679AnonymousGuestDear priya Bhardwaj:
Maybe you overwhelm yourself, expecting too much from yourself at this point: “I have many plans to be in a influential position and help people”-
maybe if you make your plans smaller, to begin with, and instead of having “may plans” – have only one plan, for now.
An attitude of One-step-at-a-time may help you take the first step, then the second, and later, the third.
You may be anxious about proving to yourself/ others that you are as intelligent as you, or they think that you are (“my intelligence doesn’t have a proof of any result”)- could this be the case?
anita
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