- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by
Ashley.
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December 21, 2014 at 12:43 pm #69577
Shawna RachelleParticipantI love my job, I love the company I work for, and I love the people I work with. There is just one problem, those people don’t like each other. Where I work, people are very judgmental, and they watch everything you do. I am friends, well not outside work, so let’s say, I get along with most of these people, they are my co-workers that I respect. However, everyday I get one person or another who has to talk badly about someone else to me, over something so minimal. I do my best to keep it one-sided, and not to get drawn into the gossip and trash talking that goes on behind everyone’s back, but it gets disheartening because I know that if they do it with everyone else, they do it about me too. And alot of times when I’m standing there having a conversation, that is what my mind is thinking; “is this what you think about me when I’m not around?”.
I’m prepared to let each person know next time, that I do not wish to participate in such negative conversations pertaining to other co-workers, however, I want to help guide my co-workers into a more positive working environment. Instead of talking about all the things that are wrong, to talk about what is good.
Does anyone know any good articles/books that pertain to this type of situation, or any personal experience advice would be grateful as well.December 21, 2014 at 5:23 pm #69584
AnonymousInactiveBasically your co-workers are a bunch of self centred indoctrinating manipulating ‘people’.
As much as you try, they will never see your point of view unless it serves their own purpose.
Stop trying to change how they think, it will never happen.
Get out now and find real people like yourself who actually care.
They are out there and I’m sorry to say that they aren’t where you are at.
Don’t waste anymore time and find the people who really love you – we do exist xxx
December 22, 2014 at 4:15 am #69639Shawna RachelleParticipantMy heart is very sad for you Jonathan. First of all, I was only asking for suggestions on articles/books regarding this matter because I know it happens in every field of work, at every company. Second, you joined this website to find peace inside your heart and calm your mind and find the positive in life, and by your response to me it does not sound like you are having much success, and that I am sorry for you. Your response to me was nothing but your negative opinion and judgement on my co-workers, people you don’t know, and people who are very nice, but like many of us at one point in time, get sucked into the drama at work. I am guilty of it myself. Not all of us intentional gossip because we are mean, self-centered people. Its an outlet, its a connection to others. I just want to find a better way and share it, that way my work environment is even better, and I would love my job even more.
The few co-workers I had in mind to talk to, have expressed they want to be able to turn the gossip off but didn’t know how. People can change, but they have to be the one to do it, I just want to help give them the resources to better their chances of success. I want to give them something to think about.
So if anyone else out there has any POSITIVE suggestions for me, I would love to hear them.
December 22, 2014 at 8:04 am #69647
KatieParticipantOhhh girl, I wish I had some suggestions. I’m just chiming in to let you know I’m dealing with this as well. It’s nice to hear some of your co-workers are actually aware of the problem. The people I work with (it’s really only two out of about 20) seem to be completely oblivious. I think it’s sweet that you want to give them some guidance on how to cut out the gossip…I think the best thing you can probably do is just lead by example. As you know, you are only in control of your own actions. If they want to continue the gossip, that’s on them. I struggle with this daily…it makes my work environment pretty shitty sometimes to be honest, but I am recognizing that’s just because of MY feelings and interpretations of what’s going on. I find myself either being true to myself and stepping out of conversations that turn gossipy and then feeling paranoid that they’re talking about me or think I’m stuck up because I won’t participate. OR getting involved in the gossip more than I would like and then feeling crummy about myself afterwards. I’ve decided I definitely prefer just being true to myself and dealing with whatever insecurities my non-participation brings about. As we both know, this is an unfortunate dynamic of any office environment. Until I can figure out how to become independently wealthy, I am just going to have to use this annoyance as a mechanism for personal growth. Which can be So. Challenging. lol.
Oh! I just had an idea…since your co-workers are aware of and want to change the problem, could you have something like a swear jar? Any time one of you starts gossiping, you all call each other out and the gossiper has to put a dime or something in a jar? Just a thought…
Good luck 🙂
February 14, 2015 at 10:09 pm #72771
AshleyParticipantI hope your work situation has improved, I understand that walking away helps for the drama to subside because the gossiper realizes that they don’t have a listen ear when they begin their negative talk towards you. Also, I agree with Katie it’s okay to change the topic if you don’t something to add or want to cheer the person up by telling them about your day and what you found interesting. I hope this works for you and keep strong 🙂
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