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Gun shy.

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  • November 29, 2013 at 10:22 pm #45982
    Anonymous
    Participant

    So I’ve invested emotionally in many relationships over the years, and my most recent was pretty rough. After love was lost and the infidelity discovered, it was two years before I felt right again. It’s all long over I feel pretty good, and now I’m having trouble even seeing why I should even try to get back in the saddle again. I’m not even sure if it is fear related, but a fact of giving up. Operating under the assumption that I have no issues left over and no baggage to tend, does anyone have any advice to getting back to the search for a connection with another human being?

    November 29, 2013 at 10:48 pm #45984
    Monk
    Participant

    I completely understand how you must be feeling..not sure if you have heard this one..”Once you get burned by drinking hot milk, you cannot even drink buttermilk without first blowing on it”…that is human nature and your brain instinctively trying to protect your survival…You will have to take that chance and risk it all again..there is no other way…you cannot win the lottery, if you are afraid to buy the ticket!..buy the ticket, you may win or you may not!, but at least you would have played and not won, rather than not playing and wondering if i could have won!

    Also, don’t force it..just continue being a good human being and love will find its way into your life once again…God bless

    November 30, 2013 at 8:41 am #45991
    bodhisatva
    Participant

    Hi,
    I am trying to get back on the same horse 🙂 here s a few things I found which resonated well
    1) the infidelity had nothing to do with you, but the way you let it affect you is your choice.
    2) for me, the whole mess has been the greatest spiritual growing experience till now.
    3) dating again with the perspective that you ll be fine even when single can be a lot more fun and fulfilling.
    4) Self confidence comes from the self..
    5) there are atleast five TED talks that should be listened to , about vulnerability, shame, self compassion , seduction and marriage.
    6) Once you start growing as a person, you ll attract the right kind of people, they ll be drawn to your being.
    Good luck to you (and to me), hope it helps.
    love
    B

    November 30, 2013 at 5:44 pm #46000
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Thank you both so much, just knowing there are kindred spirits helps ease the frustration.
    The TED talks is exactly what I’m looking for. Love the encouragement, love the kinship, love you both.

    Thank you so much again.

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