Anita I was reading the beautiful response you wrote me. I have to tell you it’s the middle of the night and I grabbed some strawberries to eat. I read what you wrote while eating them. I smiled and felt happiness when I read that. A small thing a strawberry giving me hope that I’m not alone. I’m not crazy for feeling these terrible feelings. I have panic attacks lately so I realized I need to keep things simple. Make sure my pets (dog and Parrot) are well taken care of. That I am eating and drinking water and I am in AA (sober since I was 21 long time lol) so try to go to meetings. That I shower brush my teeth shower. I’m a dog walker so walk dogs to keep making money which is a good job now animals and walking. I can’t worry about all the documents and this house that needs so much work. I need a break from that at least a couple of days. I get glimpses of hope usually from outside things not from my husband which I am realizing how dependent I am on him. My son is in Japan and they have the most delicious strawberries there. They were like $20 for a carton but I was blown away by the taste. And tonight these strawberries were almost as good so your comment about strawberries really made me smile. I hope this makes sense ;). Suzanne