I mean; it seems like I am the person who always has to prompt for the resolution to things. Otherwise it will just go un-discussed and fester.

We did have a discussion last night and I told him what needed to happen and asked him what he was going to do about it. “because if you have no intentions of changing there’s no point in starting this with; Do you want to be with me?..unless you can absorb what I am saying and address these issues I wouldn’t want to stay.”

He told me that “I think I get mad so easily because I do depend on you so much..even though I can do whatever it may be without you, I don’t want to and sometimes you disappoint me. But I need to work on telling you instead of assuming you can read my mind. I want to give it one more shot… and my temper? I AM going to work on my attitude because it really doesn’t be your fault, seriously and I’m sorry.”

I explained the concept of him seeking out problems where there are none. Like me and you talked about “Why would I PURPOSELY ignore you…aside from all the specs.. just in general WHY?… exactly! there is no logical reason you can think of. When I respond to you is the next available time I pick my phone up over ANY other communication in my phone. This idea that my phone is always in my hand has to end. I’m over arguing about these phones.

I also limited him to one argument a week. So he can learn how to scale and separate what is really a issue worth talking about and just not sweating the small stuff. Take a look at the issue and think is this a big enough issue that I going to use my one attitude a week certificate for it. & honestly if you have to think about it for longer than a few second it probably isn’t.

I was like “seriously the arguing has to stop. I cant handle it; so coming from me, if I decide ending this is the best thing it will be because I did not see the effort from you into changing the way you handle me when you get frustrated.”

We hugged, kissed.. he went and got me chick fila and we had really really great sex that felt connective for the first time in a while. Which was needed cuz that was kind of lacking thru the limbo phase a little.

Yea me too. I know it will take time and patience. Its not just going to be a complete 180 in a day. But I need to see the EFFORT; if I see the effort it will be more tolerable as it comes and goes because as you said it is a habit that needs to be broke but that’s hard.

If not then I guess it will be me breaking the habit…which is him; and staying with him even though the energy I’m around is draining me.

OH! I’ll definitely be back to give you an update! And to probably get some more advice cuz my life still is a mess soooo haha. 🙂

“one of the things  you say that are worthy to be quoted. Brilliant.”

Thank you Thank you 🙂

And as you clearly know by now I am a talker. So I think I will have no problem with that now especially because everything is out in the open about how I feel.

I even told him about another thing that made living with him irritating to, such as the clutter. Is the fact that I never envisioned myself living with a man and paying half the bills. To each is own and that’s just not what I want from the person I am with. But I swallowed that expectation and ignored it.

Then here we are now and these are things you carry with you ya know. Innately you just feel like your without something that you want. He said he would slowly start encompassing more of our bills so I can focus on our house hold. If you are a man and I am a women and we live together; we are going to have a LIFE together not this roommate 50/50 whatever crap that’s going on here.

I used to complain about how much I spent on groceries or not being as proactive about replacing household items and stuff promptly because like I told him once you do that 50/50 thing everything kind of becomes that way. It complicates things. Like who buys what for our mutual items. But if you provide the bill money (or more than now) I would never say anything about what I spend on our food. I would even pay the bills with leisure because another thing was; I always have to remind him about bills….but we pay 50/50 so if something is late you should feel just as responsible for knowing as me not wait for me to ask for $52.50 for the electric bill ya kno. As well I wouldn’t have to think about how much money I have and don’t have as much. I wouldn’t feel the need to second guess buying things I know we need.

Yet in the deduced version of it all in my head I never wanted to be living with a man that didn’t take care of our household financially. If I have it under control esthetically. In a time before now, i felt if a man wants me to be living with him he needs to be able to afford it otherwise I shouldn’t be living here. I shouldn’t be struggling emotionally, physically, but ESPECIALLY financially living in a home with a grown man. We aren’t doing without anything but Im sure you get my point.

Yes John was cheap. I may not have clarified enough though that he wasn’t cheap for me. His everyday natural habits were cheap though, what he chose to do for himself and such. But he always made sure I had whatever I wanted.

I don’t know about connected that way specifically, but that is something that is instilled in me through my family though. That is how the men in my life have always been. If you were a man present in my life uncle, grandfather, step dad. You took care of the woman in your life; me, my mom, my grandmother, my aunt without question.

& Yes he is the cause of the clutter. I don’t think he realized how stuff like that can just affect your overall mood. If your surroundings are dysfunctional…then what are you? lol

Yea the regular healthy communication is a necessity.

But I love everything about him really (other than things that ricochet from his temper)

I love his smile, his laugh, his sense of humor, I love that he can listen to me ramble about nothing, I love his sense of style, I love the way he drives, I love his goals, I love that what we want in the future; where we want to live how much money we want to live “comfortably” align, I love how considerate he is, I love his personal habits (how he showers, folds his clothes, color codes his shirts lo) , I love how confident he is, I love how he looks, I love how smart he is, I love how interested he is in the things he envisions for his future (investments, business, finances) I love his hair, I love how in shape he is, I love how he makes up for how lazy I am, I love his ‘natural’ eating habits, I love that we relax the same, I love that we have the same guilty pleasures, I love that my bad habits don’t bother him, I love that he wants to take care of me (even if financially speaking that will be in the future), I love that he is original, not a stereotype, I love watching him listen to people teach him things (I know that’s random, lol his listening face is just so cute), I love how he cleans and doesn’t just think that’s my job, I love how strong he is, I love that he gets along with my family on a surface level, I love that even though I may not have my hair done, makeup done, maybe a extra few pounds on me; I love how I know he loves me however……even if I don’t.

I just went on a roll typing so that’s all I got off the top of my head lol

Yea exactly, its those things that stem from his little stupid attitude that ruin the series lol

His goals, yea. Hopefully I am one of his goals.

Tit for Tat yes HAS TO GO lol. The clutter tho; as much as it irritates me that’s the only thing I really feel like he had no clue bothered me. I dont think it was on purpose, he said Saturday he was going to put all that stuff in the storage when he gets off work so I can get some order in the house.

Considerate of my feelings all the time NO he isn’t. But considerate like getting up to get me something to drink, If I dont feel good, on my period, need a back rub, giving me lunch money, driving me to places when I dont want to drive even if its just somewhere I need/want to go, on many occasions getting up out of the bed and going back out AND not making me go (lol)  just to get me food if I’m hungry (cuz he knows my ass will starve I dont care lol so that’s really special to me for some reason) even small stuff like not being loud when he gets ready in the mornings, coming back in to tell me bye, making sure the fan is on at night cuz he knows I like the noise.

When I say confident I mean in his abilities. I’m a highly self-conscious person too. So that’s probably the thing about him I entertain the least because I understand how that effects people.

I think  he  is fortunate to have you in his life.

Thank you I appreciate that a lot.

Its good to know I am not completely illogical. 🙂

Hey! Hey! 🙂

Me and Glens Anniversary was Sunday so I thought about you and wanted to chat.

Things have been going well. A few arguments here and there but nothing huge.

He’s reduced his level of dramatics and I have increased my understanding of them so that helps balance it out. I think when I would give off this vibe like “What your feelings is silly” that would escalate things. So basically I take how he feels more seriously even if I don’t agree.

He apologies for his actions now….we are still working on WORDS though.

We have been good lately really been connecting. I’ve been really focusing on my relationship with him without other distractions. I see some of the things he used to kind of say because I wanted to kind of put him as my priority. He used to tell me like “Oh you tell people other things before you tell me” or “You call other people when your at work etc.”

I’ve been involving him more in my day because he his who I want to tell and I guess telling my best friend kind of used to make me forget to tell him you know. So when something happened at work I would call him like “Babe guess what happened” or “remember what we talked about this just happened” I can tell that it really does make him feel good.

Thanksgiving we went to my family’s house and Christmas we went to his moms. That was the first time I really met her. His step dad and brother were also there and I ended up cooking dinner for him and his brother that day. He invited me to his brothers basketball game which was nice. I reallllly didn’t want to go because it was cold and I didn’t feel good. But he asked 🙂 so I couldn’t say no. I think his mom likes me pretty well.

AND guess what?!!! We went to Dinner the night of our Anniversary and FRIGGIN LEO worked at the restaurant we were at! Oh my goodness! I’m sure you can only imagine my face. OH! and Glens face too considering even though he wasn’t our server it just so happened that he brought the food to our table looking me straight in the face. To say the least it was unexpected

Yeah things overall have been better will me tending to him more.

I think what I really need is to get a handle on not letting how he is feelings get to me and alter my mood too.

Like his mood lately aside from everything I just said has been reallllllly wearing on my nerves.

Because at the same time I understand his frustrations. Its always annoying when someone complains about a situation they could have avoided if theyd just done more.