Hello, This might be long, but this is my last and final resort. Please read through and any words of advice would be more than amazing.

I really wish that someone can help me once and for all, because I can’t do this anymore. It’s been nine whole months since my ex boyfriend and I have broken up. Our relationship lasted for a whole year and was a good and healthy relationship, until my ex had too much work on his hands and lost the ability to schedule his time and I couldn’t handle it anymore. After breaking up, we had multiple fights and kept hooking up every once in a while but everytime I would push away because he didn’t want anything serious as he didnt have the “time” to commit. I hated it. I hated how he would hook up with me and disappear and only talk to me when he needed something. I never realized how pathetic I am until i’m reading the words i’m typing. About two weeks ago, he asked to meet me and we went for lunch. He kept saying how he expected ME to wait for him, even if we weren’t together, and that if i LOVED him i would’ve sacrificed my 20’s for him! I explained that he never showed any signs of commitment and for that reason i was unable. We hooked up again that night, and he asked me to “jump in” and wait. I never replied, but I told myself, i’ll give it a shot. He disappeared again..A couple of days later i see him out on somewhat of a “double date” although he claims the girl is in a long distance relationship, i’m sure he’s lying. I texted him saying he’s not a man and how unfair it was, but his reply was “sorry for the confusion”. I ignored. A couple of days later, an old rebound that I went out with during my break up with my ex texts me and I find out that the reason to why he stopped hitting me up was due to the fact my ex basically threatened him and told me to leave him alone. When i told my bestest friend, she confronted him and he said that he didnt care about me or him. I thought that was the end of it but i wasnt. He texts me threatning me and disrespecting me, telling me that i should stop spreading lies and talking infront of everyone, (while infact he was the one who spread everything!!) and that this was my last warning. I refused to reply to such disrespect and insults, something I have unfortunetly come accustomed to, and ignored. He went crazy and told me ” is there something wrong with your f”””ing head?” I still ignored, and then he proceeded to blocking me.

I know that it’s his fault, but it is mine for always accepting him back into my life, and being too kind when i shouldn’t have. I dont want our relationship to be toxic, but at the same time i can’t look at him anymore. I just want my right back, and i want my apology that i deserve. I am sick and tired of being disrespected by him and then allowing him in my life when he misses me! Will he ever change? Bigger question is…..How can I CHANGE? How should i respond If he texts me again? I am so lost and helpless.