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How can I deal with the behavior of my ex "almost boyfriend"?

HomeForumsRelationshipsHow can I deal with the behavior of my ex "almost boyfriend"?

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  • #353168
    Fillipa
    Participant

    I was in my first year of college, he was in fourth year and we didn’t know each other.We accidentally started talking on Facebook and it was great. However, both of us had personal problems to deal with due to past relationships and we stopped talking and said we’ll get back in touch when we’ll feel better.
    One month later, after having sorted our things out, we started talking again and he asked for my number. After a few days, I asked him out for coffee and we met. It was magical. Before meeting him, I didn’t believe in the “love at the first sight”, “chemistry” or “goosebumps” stuff. It lasted around two hours and it was the first time I felt that a guy was genuinely interested in me. He confessed that he had chronical depression and was followed by a therapist, and that he wanted to take his time.But precisely one week after we met, I received an admission offer from a top university, abroad. It was cristal clear that I will have to move away. When I told him about that, I also decided to tell him that I was starting to have real feelings for him and that I was sad because of the situation. He congratulated me and also reciprocated the thing, telling me he liked me too.He didn’t want to try long distance at all because that was precisely the reason why he broke up with his ex and told me that I better find someone else close to my place. I got frustrated but calmed my emotions because the truth was that we barely knew each other. We told each other that we’ll keep in touch and we went no contact for 2 months. I was slowly getting over him when he suddenly texted me four weeks ago. He asked me how I’m doing and we texted a few messages back and forth but he totally ignored my last message. He didn’t even click on the convo. I don’t understand why, because we appreciate each other and he is a really nice guy. Plus, he knows that I’m extremely emotional and that I can see him active on social medias.What should I do? It hurts a lot and I just feel crazy for getting emotional because of that.

    • This topic was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by tinybuddha.
    • This topic was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by tinybuddha.
    #353368
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Fillipa:

    “We told each other that we’ll keep in touch and we went no contact for 2 months. I was slowly getting over him when he suddenly texted me four weeks ago.. back and forth but he totally ignored my last message. He didn’t even click on the convo. I don’t understand why”-

    – Some people are not in a rush, to say the least. When you decided to “keep in touch”, for you it may have meant to connect in the week to come; for him it may have meant to connect whenever he felt like it: the following week or the following year.

    He messaged you four weeks ago, you messaged back, he then messaged again, you messaged.. and at one point he didn’t message back to you: I think he is back to the  whenever I feel like it attitude.

    When you receive a message, I imagine that you think it’s your responsibility to answer in a timely manner, being socially responsible that way. Am I correct?

    Some people are not socially responsible: they don’t consider how  their actions (or lack of actions) distress other people. Instead, they postpone doing what they don’t feel like doing at any one time.

    Does this make sense to you?

    anita

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