Hey guys,

To give a brief background:

Me and my ex-girlfriend got really close (admitted feelings for each-other / planning how we could make a relationship work as we both lived in different cities far apart) before realising it wasn’t the right time. I moved overseas for a year and wasn’t able to see her for a year. We still kept in close contact, in a weird sort of half relationship / half accepted we were best friends scenario – e.g I would Skype her weekly and we’d sing songs on guitar together, keep each other updated regularly with all our news etc.

After returning from my year away and having not kept as close during the final months, we instantly hit it off, got close again and started dating more seriously after about 1 month. We were still living in our cities that were not too close but I think we both realised how much we had missed each other during my year away and wanted to make it work.

After 8 great months together, seeing each other often, we started to pull-apart, with some news causing insecurity in me and a rift between us.

During my time away, I didn’t meet anyone else ( I know this is not her problem as we were not official or anything) as for me I was not interested in meeting someone else as I knew how much she meant to me. However, she was dating one of my best friends after 3 months of be leaving for a couple of months. I only found out 8 months into our relationship whilst all my other friends knew about this.

She told me, when one of my friends brought it up to her “So how did he take it when you told him about you & ___ last year?” and she had assumed I had found out. To her credit, as soon as she realised I did not know she told me and at the time I accepted it, but over the following months it just did not sit well with me, we argued often and she broke it off – saying that she just does not feel happy anymore.

It really hurt me to know she was seeing one of my best friends (an old school friend) whilst we were (in my eyes) so close. When I recounted some of the messages / letters she sent during this time I do not think they were okay when she was seeing someone else.

_____

Fast forward to now, we have not spoken much at all since breaking up and it has become quite awkward with my friendship group. I have spent most of the last year with my friends in a different circle, but I do feel like I am missing out with this group of friends she shares.

My friend who she dated whilst I was away is part of this group, and whilst I do not think they have gotten together again it does make me feel awkward when they are both together and I am there too with this group. I don’t want to feel like this any more, I would love to see this friend group and relive some of the great times we had.

I do not dislike my friend who she dated, as he did not know of how close we were when they got together and I have come to accept that although me and my ex were close at the time, we were not together. Yes, I do think she led me along a bit, but we were not going out so she was free to do what she wanted.

How can I feel comfortable again in this friend group, so I can still attend the regular gatherings and not feel awkward? Is there more I need to work on personally before submerging myself with this group again?

Thank you for reading and responses