Home→Forums→Relationships→How to Forget my Ex and stop hurting myself
- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by Neesa.
July 17, 2013 at 11:29 am #38808NeesaParticipant
My name is Neesa and I am 26 yrs old.I got married nine months ago (ARRANGED MARRIAGE)to a guy who i FOUND OUT AFTER MARRIAGE IS LEAST INTERESTED IN MAKING SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS. Also,the family on a whole was not ready to accept me (his mother in particular had a strange behaviour) towards me. I continued to live in that house hoping that things will improve between me and my husband but to no avail. We had constant fights and arguments because he was not emotionally inclined towards me either. He and his family had orthodox thinking about a daughter in law as we reside in India.and many people treat their daughter in laws as servants.I belong to a rather modern family,where all are treated equal. As I got emotionaly attached to him so I never left,thinking that I can survive without sex my whole life. But sooner or later it has to end as the relationship was going nowhere,he was not ready for any kind of emotional or physical contact.Ultimately I left…But now I feel guilty that may be if I would have lived there,just because I am good,they must have accepted me as the time have passed by..I don’t know I experience sort of guilty that I was wrong..Was he a right guy to be with?? When he was not ready to love me??Have I done right by Stepping out of this relation??Please Help as I am unable to sleep from past 1 month..Thanks
Sorry for making it so long..July 17, 2013 at 9:03 pm #38838Sapnap3Participant
I am indian and ill tell you that you did the right thing. Are you sure your ex was not gay? many indian men (especially from traditional families) have a hard time expressing their sexuality. Anyways, this is not about him. you are probably a smart and beautiful girl. please don’t think that this will be the only person you will ever be with. I know that you tried. Please remember there is a limit to how much a person can try. we are humans. Even god only helps people who help themselves. Grieve as much as you want over this broken relationship. take your time. There is no hurry. I know its easier said than done but read about others in your situation and write a journal about how you feel. I promise that one day you will wake up and it won’t hurt anymore. One day you will see that you were strong and you will appreciate yourself for standing up for what is right. You are woman and we deserve mental and physical love. we don’t live in the old ages anymore. we deserve better!
Lot of love.
SJuly 18, 2013 at 3:37 am #38842NeesaParticipant
I have no clues whether he was a gay or not but he definitely did not have any sexual interests in girls and his mannerisms and dressing sense surely depicted that something is terribly wrong.Firstly ,thank you so much for your encouraging words.They mean a lot to me.I am trying to overcome this and move out but I know it will take time.I am touched by your reply,knowing that you are an indian too and don’t hold an orthodox views about what I did.As many people have shunned my decision,considering me wrong. I will keep your advise in mind.
Lots of Love