Dear Rose,

The best thing you can do now is simply offer her your time and companionship rather than any advice. Sit quietly in a room together, eat popcorn and watch a good movie like “Shawshank Redemption” for example. Some days she will cry, some days she will say she doesn’t want to go on. When that happens, tell her you love her very much and she means the world to you. Take her out in simple places like a park with lots of sunshine, a walk here and there.

I rememeber two books that helped – one was William Stryder’s experience on his depression and another was “Man’s search for meaning” by Victor Frankl. Both describe the worst situations of the mind and how they went on despite it, especially the second book.

No mention about the bad things within – when she will feel strong enough inside, she will come to you herself but she needs to know she is not “nothing” – I really dunno how to explain it…the need to push away and yet have someone there.

You can’t really fix this. It’s not so simple, at best you can be there for her. Please ask her partner and family members/close ones to keep a close eye on her in case she tries taking any drastic step.

Don’t leave her unwatched for too long but don’t do it in an obvious way either.

I know it seems like a lot of work and requires restraint but such situations need extreme patience.

In your case, the best way to look after yourself would be to go home and relax by yourself, not think too much about what happened between the two of you. Write your own negative thoughts down and then shut the book. Deattaching from the situation is really important for your mental health.

Regards
Nina