Hi Butterfly76,

The first thing that comes to mind is whether you are relying only on his words or you actually saw some proofs of his accident and his memory loss, like a medical diagnosis for example.
If you want the answers to your questions, I suppose that would be a good thing to find that woman and talk to her as well. Did you read the e-mails they shared?

However, I suppose you are wondering whether you should forgive him for what he has done and whether you can trust him once again and allow him back in your life. I understand he looks genuinely sorry and displeased. However, that’s not the man you used to know. He changed and warped back to some previous past, was he reliable back then? Do you think there were situations that could be avoided or do you think that things were going to happen anyway? If you try to rewrite the history from that point he is back at, do you think you may have success?
Anyway, amnesia may be only temporary, memories may come back and change his perception of the world. So he may change once again, for some reason you currently do not know. He is not reliable, unless you can count on some commitment from him: that whatever he remembers, he won’t let it influence your relationship with you, and will try hard to actually “forget” that it happened at all. If you want to give a chance, tell him that he should forgive you for everything, you ever said or did and he does not remember, that he should give up any other commitment he does not recall. If you can agree on that, maybe it can be fine to be back together. Tough you never know what may happen with a damaged brain, nevertheless, you would never know if something would happen even if he was healthy: he may have another car incident and start behaving strange anyway. Maybe you’d like to have the doctor’s advices on the matter, to see what’s the chance that old memories may interfere with the new life. If you don’t feel like you can take the risk, it is better to keep investigating or waiting that memories come back. Did he start any therapy?

Hi Butterfly76,

Quote
“So I guess I just dont know what to do with the information, or lack of, that I have and how I deal with it and move forward. Do I keep trying to find out things or do I leave it as is and try to resolve things as they stand. Im not sure how to resolve it.”

Whether to pursue the truth or not is your choice to make. You should look at your life and see what you feel inside. Look at the time you have available, at the many things you’d like to do, at the responsibilities you feel. Is spending time for this man something you want to do, something you can do, something you ought to do? I understand he makes you remember about the old man he was, that his words make old lost hopes come back, that you so wish to believe he is back for you. But he is a new man and the hopes you gave up are not back. I know it is easier said than done, but try to treat him as a new man you just met and he especially likes you because you make him think about a woman he was in relationship with and you also like him because he makes you think about a man you were in a relationship with. Would you invest in such a relationship? Do you have time, do you think it is worthy? I understand you may have trust issues from the past, but I suppose you would not trust a new man that easily as well, especially one who has brain damage. I also believe you should not feel like staying close to him is something you have to do. He left you. Although he acts like you had a commitment, the truth is that you have none. It is up to you to see whether you can afford to be so kind to give him a new chance. Please, do not look for the future you once hoped for, but for a new one. If you decide to give a chance, please remember he is another man, it is a new relationship, make it clear to him as well: you start anew for a new future. Everything he remembers later, it should be treated as something new (he just found), not something old.

Summing it up, my personal advice is to not hurt yourself by looking for the old man into the new man. Whether you can do it close to him or only far away from him, it is something you can only understand: maybe you may actually need a bit of time to get used to the idea.