I fell in love very young – not even 18 – and built a life with him that has lasted til our mid-to-late 30s. We were both damaged kids (he’s even younger than me) and supported each other very well for many years, but it became unhealthy and very codependent, with me taking on the “rescuer” role and ignoring my own needs for about 5 years. Last year it ended, and I jumped straight into another unhealthy (for different reasons) relationship.

That ended about 6 months ago, and I realised I am currently unable to function as a person without a relationship as an “anchor”. My ex-spouse and I are now dating while living separately, which is giving us the opportunity to grow as individuals while keeping each other as a “safety net” for the hard times. So far, it’s mostly working. But we have a LONG way to go yet.