I am short heighted and that bothers me too much!!

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This topic has 10 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 1 month ago by jock.

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October 2, 2015 at 2:29 am #84548
seeker
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Hi,
I am a 27 year old guy and my height is 5’3”. All my life ,I have wanted to be in a relationship. I have had my share of crushes, I had fallen in love but I never proposed them know as I knew that height is the major factor girls look out for in a man. I know how people look down upon short men; all the discrimination and biases we have to go through. All my life ,I have been teased and made fun of for this. Even some of my teachers and elders were not sensible enough to pass comments on my height,though now I dont get bothered by people’s remarks. Still it hurts me to see how biased society is towards short men. I tried way too hard, exercised, visited doctors but all in vain. Even now I have fallen in love with a girl(despite trying too hard not to let those feelings in) but I would never propose her.Though I never told them,my colleagues and even the girl are aware of my liking for her(I think they got the vibes). All they would end up doing is comparing my height with her and sincerely,I dont like this. Though Personality is the major factor people look out for in a relationship. I know why girls would not go up for short men as they would end of being the subject of ridicule. Besides it would be a subject of pride for them flaunting their boyfriends. Even if somehow , I get into a relationship(that seems a 0.01 probability) despite all this, I know this would not stop bothering me because I cannot change the inherent bias and discrimination which comes with being short heighted. I wish I could change all this somehow,change my height. Even if I got rejected on proposing somebody,I would not feel that it was because of my height.I try to convince me not to think about all this,focus on other things in life,but all goes in vain. No matter where I am ,whatever I am doing,this remains in the back of my mind permanently. I feel lonely. I miss a serious relationship. I have sincerely shown my love and care to girls,I fell in love with because that is what I expected back from them(I wish they realized it). I miss that love and care,I have shown to others. I am stuck in this loop and dont know how to get out of this.
- This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by seeker.
October 2, 2015 at 3:07 am #84551

Chris
Participant

Hello,

Anything I say here is coming from a genuine 29 year old male who is also 5ft3!

First of all, your height won’t stop you finding love or getting married. Yes it does cut down the potential candidates a bit but I’ve dated quite successfully girls who 5ft8/9.

I think you have to realise that being short isn’t really an issue, lots of girls are not actually fussed by height of there man. Lots of girls are short or the same height as us, embrace it. You can still be manly, imposing, strong or what have you being strong.

I say go for it and tell her how you feel, she might not laugh or say no! How tall is she??
I’ve told myself that on the whole my partner is most likely going to be taller than me and guess what it’s not caused me harm. This may seem ironic me giving you advice about relationships bearing in mind my first post on here about a breakup ( she was shorter than me just) but I can relate to height and I’m telling you that it’s not such a disadvantage, we see loads of tall single men as much as shorter men, where not any less of a man than they are.

Smile, it will happen and you will meet someone!

October 2, 2015 at 4:21 am #84552

Anonymous
Inactive

Dude, if you’re so scared to even ask them out, your chances of getting a girl are anyway zero. Lets face it, the way our society is, its the guys who usually do the proposing (Okay well i am the odd exception here hehe). Plus, I have seen loads of guys at your height and have dated some too. They were manly and it didnt have anything to do with their height. It was just the way they carried themselves. Its not a big deal but you gotta get all this negativity out.

Yeah i know teachers and family can be a pain at times – they ridiculed me for my acne and weight. Over time though, the comments stopped but my attitude towards me had become like “oh i am the ugly, fat girl and nobody wants a fat girl” whether anyone said it to my face or not. Its in your thoughts. Go see a counselor about this. Or maybe talk to someone on healtheminds.com if its too difficult for you to see one right now about this.

October 2, 2015 at 9:12 am #84561

seeker
Participant

Thank you very much ‘icedmunkie’ and ‘Moongal’ for your supportive words.I am really feeling light now after going through your posts.
Dear Chris, As you have asked for,her height is same as mine. As far as going and saying it to her is concerned,I think it will take a lot of mental preparation from me :P.
Moongal, it really felt great to get the perspective on men’s height from a girl itself. Its not like this negativity is always in my mind,but one tends to become over conscious about things when he is in love and keeps giving oneself all the reasons his crush would reject him(mine being a major one).
Going forward, I know I cant change the society’s bias about this but will surely try to foucs on other positives happening in my life.

October 2, 2015 at 9:29 am #84564

Anonymous
Guest

Dear anonymousindian:

I grew up in a country where I at 5’5” was taller or the same height than most men at the time I lived there (teenager and early twenties). The thing is, I did now walk around thinking: “These short people are lacking” kinds of thoughts. I was thinking: “I am too tall. I am defected.” I walked with flat shoes or sandals, curved my back so to be shorter. In these very days, decades afterward, I am still working on trying to straighten my posture.

When a person walks around feeling inferior (too short, too tall, too heavy, too…) that is where the problem is.

True, statistically with all variables constant, a taller man has a better chance getting a date. But these are statistics only. You only need one woman to date or marry, not a percentage of female population. And the women around you may, like me, feeling badly for being too tall… or too _____ (many possibilities).

anita

October 2, 2015 at 9:31 am #84565

Anonymous
Guest

Correction: “I did NOT walk around thinking…”

October 2, 2015 at 9:53 am #84569

seeker
Participant

Hi Anita,

Thank you very much Anita for your kind words.We tend to hide our insecurities. The more we try to hide them,more they become visible.I am really feeling great today to have poured my heart out and get such awesome responses.Right now I feel as someone has pulled down some heavy baggage from my head. I hope I could get rid of this mental baggage for my whole life.

October 2, 2015 at 10:39 am #84575

Anonymous
Guest

Dear anonymousindian:

This moment you are having of getting rid of a heavy baggage from your head can last and last and when you lose it, going back to old thinking the … next time perhaps that you get rejected by a woman, or if a woman looks at you the wrong way… come back to this moment. Re-read this thread. Take notes now and re-read them so your future self can be reminded.

And write again, anytime.

anita

October 3, 2015 at 1:05 am #84599

seeker
Participant

Sure Anita :).. Thank you very much!!

October 9, 2015 at 2:39 am #85113

Chris
Participant

Seeker,

Thanks for the reply, mentally prepare yourself and you will get there.
I know its cheesy but the best things come in small packages!!

October 9, 2015 at 3:24 am #85115

jock
Participant

plenty of short women out there…
the jockeys seem to do OK
I find short guys usually not short on confidence. In fact I can think of two that were downright Hitlers!
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