i am so sorry for my english , i am greek , i was with my boyfriend 3.5 years together, between greece and france , i was going every month and he was coming in the winter for weeks and after in the summer for 2 months , we loved each other out of limit , we was very comfortable , home , but the our erotic way was in different priorities , he always thought that our love is so sure and strong that nothing is matter , i could wait for him to finish he last beer after waiting him 10 hours in his work very time in all this years , he never said lets close and go i have my girlfriend here.. no.. he was working most of the time so i was on his work as i could , and we stay home when he was free because it was rare, i wasn’t happy , in Greece i was always in my computer talk with  him never go out not happy without him , in France i wasn’t having  normal life , working , living there for real, i wasn’t happy .. his love was making me happy , so sweet he was , but i was feeling that everything was bad so he was so good with me to not broke up . we start to fight almost all the time that we was together but never from far away, the fight became very big and strong screaming crying .. even in-front of friends.. the last year we lost both very close people, that this hurt us more , bring us together in pain and not happy , but we continue to fight .. i was thinking to broke up one per month for a year , i wasn’t  happy ..

more deaths came . i started to feel in a dead end and after lot of pain i cancel my trip to france and after 2 week i told him to broke up .it was so difficult , we was crying and screaming for 9 hours on the phone .. passing through all the feelings.

the next day he had to accept my will, he ask me to not stop to talk , i ask him to respect what i want and we can talk for ever

since then we talk few messages every day ,he lost another person so we had very sad moments again .. 3 months now i cry every day . i love him but i wasn’t happy , and my heart is so broken, and he is so broken , during all day i am more strong , i found new job a move in another place i try to work all day to not stay alone but there is a moment that i cry so much

is so difficult , but i thing all this things that make me unhappy and i m getting so angry .. but i miss him so much and i m so sorry that he so sad and broken … i don’t know what to do .. i was thinking, that when u make someone, that u love ,happy, that u r happy too , but i could not continue to not care about me , to have me happy too . i don’t know if this love breaking with him was good.. i don’t know how to control my pain . his pain i feel so guilty making be alone, so alone , i feel that i can’t be with him , but thinking him alone like this broken it make me crazy , is so hard, i wanted to take care him , but i don’t wan to be with him , i love him so much but i don’t want him , i can’t stop to cry , my body is poisoned from my sadness , even if i have very nice way of living th moment that i am alone or if someone ask me how i am now that i broke up, i cry like crazy .. to anyone i can’t control my tears . i m so sorry that i write all this ,

thanks for the space : )