Home→Forums→Tough Times→I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 months.
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 3 months ago by Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching.
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September 8, 2016 at 8:21 am #114603KaliParticipant
Last night I stayed over at my boyfriends house, he works full time. I got to his house before he got done with work and I put my things down and went on his laptop to check via Facebook. When I opened his laptop and typed in the website address I open to see that he was still logged on Facebook, I violated a boundary between him and I. I looked through his messages. Not because I don’t trust him, but because in past relationships and emotional abuse as a child it has been hard for me to trust anyone when I looked through his messages I saw he was talking to a women and I found the conversation of him being really flirty with her. After I had seen this I exited out and when for a run to clear my mind and at that moment I was filled with anger and resentment that I needed some physical exercise to clear my brain. Once I felt better I went back to his house and I found him lying on his bed. I never brought what I had done up to him because I felt ashamed and felt like I insulted him in a way. A few hours go by and we are laying on his bed side by side talking about miscellaneous things and a topic gets brought up that intrigued me. . When we first started dating he had talked about moving states away and he said if we were still together that he would bring me down with him and we would live together, last night I asked him if he still was thinking about moving and he said yes but this time he didn’t want me to move down with him and I felt very heartbroken after he told me that. I love him, and regardless of my embarrassing behaviors I got really hurt that he didn’t want me by his side when he moved. I still stayed over and this morning when I got home I texted him this “You know there is this saying, if you love something let it go. Aaron after last night and what you said I realized something. You told me you didn’t want me to move to St. Louis with you, and I’m sorry I know that’s what you really want to do and it’s your life and whatever you think is better for you I’m not going to stop you. I can’t change your mind about if you want me to move with you or not all I can do is accept the fact of your decision and let you go with it. After you said that it broke my heart because I am realizing that this is relationship isn’t going to work out if we can’t be together in the long term. I love you and when I have told you it I meant it, but sometimes things happen for a reason and things aren’t always supposed to work out the way that we want them too. You have a future and a life down their and it would be difficult to see you go to begin with, I love you and I hate to let you go but I don’t want me being with you to become an issue in the things you really want to do with your life.” and I broke things off with him.
September 8, 2016 at 8:35 am #114606AnonymousGuestDear grupaok:
Two and a half months was a very short relationship. At the beginning, you wrote, he told you that he would like you to move to the other state with him and live together. That was very quick- that expressed intention on his part, to quick to trust. This is why it is important to take time to know a person, to know and to be known.
There is no substitute to learning about a person over time, asking questions and listening, observing and evaluating before you get heavily invested in that person. When you are emotionally involved you lose objective evaluation of who the man is and what the relationship is about.
As you go through this recent, very fresh breakup, please do post here again and again, for as long as it gives you some comfort. I will reply every time.
anita
September 10, 2016 at 5:38 pm #114858Hello beautiful girl you are not alone and we love you. This is a recent fresh breakup but oyh will be ok, if he is really what is meant for you you two will find a way to be together if tis really meant to be. Relationships take time to grow but atleast you helped eachother and learn from eachother, if you are wanting ti be friends with him give yourself time and be honest with him, and if he cant be in your life or you dont wanna and lose all contact with him its for the best youre a good person he will understand and atleast you helped eachother and grew together, wish him wekpll and focus kn your happiness joy keep in touch with family friends and do whatever makes yoy happy you will heal i promise honeys you never know what ljfe holds for you, you will learn and grow from this and im proid of you for taking charge and wish u all the best in life we love you keep posting there will alwaysbe someone out on here who cares for you and many people care for yoy nd love you you are never alone♡♡♡ you are always loved and i hope you can take comfort in the fact youll always survive youre a survivor you are alive healthy happy and this is your beautiful life, good luck beautiful person
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