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I can't live with myself anymore

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  • October 30, 2015 at 7:09 am #86421
    Name
    Participant

    I have nobody. My whole family hates me. I’ve gone crazy. My grandmother tells my mother that I’m a demon of pure evil. My own mother disowns me. My brother hates me. I can’t live with it any more. Can’t even think straight. I’ve lost it. I just want to die. My whole family thinks I’m a liar. I shaking. So hungry and scared. Why can’t I be dead already?

    October 30, 2015 at 7:46 am #86422
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Name:

    Think, Name, of the baby that you were. You were born good and lovable and loving. All you wanted when you were a baby and a young child was the love of those around you. All you felt was love for them. That part of you is still inside you. You are separated from that part right now but it is there. Please, look at a photograph of you when you were a baby or a young child, look at that face, those eyes, the innocence. Take care of that part that still lives in you, that still wants nothing more than to love and to be loved.

    Some of us are born into the wrong families. But we are still born good.

    anita

    October 30, 2015 at 10:01 am #86433
    PepperJill
    Participant

    I was disowned by my family a few years ago and it does feel horrible in the beginning. I would have thoughts like you do and feel that I was not worthy – if my family could not love me, how could I ever be worthy of love? I know it feels so bad right now, but please fight for yourself. Anita gave such good advice in her response above. If you passed your 2 year old self on the street right now, what would you do? You would not look at that beautiful innocent child and think it is bad…and if you knew its family was being mean to it, you would pick it up and love it and be kind. You must do that to yourself as your first step. Love yourself and take care of yourself. And then find your family in this world. Some of us are not born into our true family – we have to go out into the world and find them. I promise you that they are out there, though.

    You are NOT what other people think of you. You are you and you are absolutely deserving of life and love.

    October 30, 2015 at 2:09 pm #86446
    Name
    Participant

    @anita

    @PepperJill

    Thank you. Both of you. I have calmed down and began seeing things properly. I am not going to let this bother me any more.

    October 30, 2015 at 2:51 pm #86448
    jock
    Participant

    I would add my support to you as well, Name.
    Due to such high standard replies as Anita’s and Pepper Jill’s, another person is helped yet again in this crazy world without love. Tiny Buddha Forum, making a difference….to lives that feel lost.

    October 30, 2015 at 6:48 pm #86451
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Name:

    If you are still not bothered, feeling relatively calm, please think of ways to remove yourself from the abusive people in your life, whomever they are: mother, grandmother, anyone who is abusive, mistreats you. It is not right for you to be abused. Please remove yourself, find a place to live, a shelter of some kind, make a life for yourself FREE from mistreatment, abuse. You deserve freedom and peace.

    anita

    November 1, 2015 at 9:45 am #86519
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Name:

    How are you? How are you feeling? Please post. Do not give up on yourself!
    anita

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