September 9, 2019 at 9:42 am #311029
So here i’m so desperately need help in stop thinking of her
I’ve stopped chatting with her for 2 weeks after chatting with her for two years straight all this time.
First, I’m going to tell you of my history with her
I’ve known her since i was in 12th grade of high school and we gotten close since then. She’s 4 years younger than me, she’s on the 8th grade (i know this is a large age gap for our age). When we were close that time we texted everyday for 4 months straight until the day i confess my feelings to her but she rejected. Stating that she doesnt wanna be in relationship and regard everyone as her “friend” only. And we lost contact since then but separate on friendly terms.
A few months later, at the start of my early university days , i felt lonely and still hoping that she would text me again (because she’s the first girl who’s interested in me). Until the day of my birthday she texted and wishes me a happy birthday. And i said to her that we havent text in a while, then started chatting again. With me opening all the convos, until she said “we’re only friends right?” And i said “yes” with the hope that if we keep texting her everyday that she’ll change her mind.
We still text each other everyday for two years straight, and i know her daily routine everyday. I’m in my second year of my uni and she’s in the 11th grade. She’s 16 and I’m 20.
Then a few weeks ago before we stop chatting, I keep hinting her that she replies my chats too long. I was so mad in my mind back then, but i know it’s my fault because she and i are only friends but i secretly want her desperately. After that hint, she told me that should we stopped chatting daily, and only chat when there is a topic. I was shocked that time but i still say yes, and felt really sad.
Then after that i try to stop thinking of her but everytime i open my instagram and see her stories, i’ll keep thinking of her that she might get close to someone if i dont text her daily. Then stop looking at her stories for a few days (she always notice if i have seen her stories or not when we text daily). But sometimes i still look at her stories and feel really insecure. I even wake up with a morning anxiety thinking of her.
I’m really stressed as even though i’m tired with her but i’m still obsessed of her.
Idk what I should do, i cant even think of continuing my parents business after uni as in my mind my objective is only to find a girl for me. And then if i got one i’ll have a motivation to think of continuing the business. I know this sounds pathetic as a mindset. Pls give me advice.