Dear Azalia:

You are welcome and thank you for your good wishes for me, you have been so gracious throughout your thread.

I re-read all your posts trying to learn something new.  At one point your boyfriend noticed that a man liked your pictures online, was “suspicious that he liked me”, then asked you “to stop talking to him” and you immediately complied. At another point he asked you if you were hiding something. You told him about the online business a year before. Later he asked you “if there was something else”.

You wrote: “I do feel .. as if I was a terrible sinner… I always had this idea of my life partner knowing all about me and vice versa; the bad and good.”

Sometimes you want to end this relationship so that he “finds someone as perfect as him. Then you wrote: “some things I don’t like about him relationship wise… the things my boyfriend has disappointed me… when I am with him… the illusion of (his) perfection breaks “-

So far I focused on you, on the origin of your anxiety. Now I am wondering if there is something to look at in your boyfriend’s part of the relationship with you. To look into that part, I ask: how did he disappoint you; what are the things you don’t like about him?

And did he share with you anything that he did wrong in his life?

My goal in asking is to expose any reality that needs to be exposed so to calm your anxiety. If we deny reality, hide it from ourselves, it doesn’t remain hidden, and we remain anxious. Therefore, better see all that there is to see.

anita