Maybe its not all about you but them. It seems like it. It seems like she just wants to go from one to the other. I have social anxiety too (had selective mutism as a kid) & i dont know why no one helped. Im 22 still with heart beating fast EVERY SINGLE day- every hour. SA is much more than social conversations. Its stares, its overthinking, its being sometimes afraid… Ive fallen into deep depression. So-called professionals didnt target my problems. They just let me go on my own. I cant believe that. Ive no job or degree yet. School was Too overwhelming. I think I wasnt meant to be in society. I dont fit in anywhere. Im hypersensitive thats why. But maybe you should look for help.

You wrote that you “shouldn’t need people to make (you) feel good and valued”- but we do need people to make us feel good and valuable. Wish it wasn’t so, but we do need other people, beginning with our parents. We need them to see us as good and valuable so that we can feel it ourselves.

You wrote that your ex girlfriend backstabbed you. So did your mother, unfortunately when she said she wishes she gave birth to a thousand snakes instead of to you. I can’t think of something more cruel to say to one’s daughter.

I am so sorry, you were backstabbed by your own mother. I was too. Life is far from being easy following that.

The solution is to find that someone who will value you as a good person, a worthy person. “What’s the point?” you asked.

Again, the lyrics of this song come to my mind: “to love and be loved in return.”

anita