Dear Rose:

You are clearly infatuated with this young man and at 17, you are ready to start a relationship.

You wrote that he will be leaving to uni very soon which means, you wrote, that you will never see him again. Is the university he will be attending too far from you, and therefore you are not likely to see him again?

I wonder if you are hoping for a relationship with him for the time before he leaves, or are you hoping for a long distance relationship after he leaves..?

anita

Dear Rose:

You wrote that you know that he is “not ready for a commitment”, but you “both assured each other that there is nobody else in our lives that would receive as much attention as the other.”- well that is some commitment. You committed to each other that you will not have a boyfriend and he will not have a girlfriend, and that the two of you will pay attention to each other more than to anyone else.

You wrote: “However, I know that he is talking to multiple girls and it hurts me to think that he is being the same with someone else… I let one of my old friends speak to him…”- so you believe that he is not keeping his part of the commitment he made to you, “being the same with someone else”, paying the same amount of attention to someone else as he does to you.

I suggest you bring up the commitment the two of you made to each other and ask him if he feels he is keeping it, if he feels that he paying more attention to you than he does to other girls.

* Notice, you also want him to pay a special kind of attention to you, not just more attention. But you didn’t make a commitment in that regard, did you?

anita