April 21, 2014 at 1:56 am #55083LucieParticipant
I am in great dilemma. Am already engaged. I loved my fiance; Dwane a lot but he still loved his ex and on top of this he cheated on me.that tore me into pieces i was heart broken completely. I could not concentrate at work. My friends told me to leave him, i tried but i could not. I desperately waited each day for his call or text. He said he is busy with work and not to phone him. I cried each night. At times he told me he dreamt of his ex and one day it happened that he told to talk to his ex. I gathered the courage we went together at her work place. To tell you frankly, i could not i loved him more than anything else. I returned back in the car crying bitterly and told him i could not face his ex. Dwane shouted at me that i could not do such a petty thing for him.
This continued for months, the women with whom he cheated me phoned me and fought with me. Worse, they were two best friends and they knew that i was engaged to him. My guy did not utter a word when i told him they came to fight with me. Instead he told me not to worry he gonna marry me not to them and that was a mistake. I remained quiet because i loved him deeply and because of my parents coz they are strict when it comes to my engagement. My life was upside down. I did not know which direction to head.
Last year in Sept i met a guy at work. We became good friends. His name is Stephan. i told him on the very first day we can be good friends but no more than that coz i got my fiance. He agreed.We talked everyday on phone. Every morning he sent me a good morning texts. We were really true friends.We went out for movies and lunch. The first day we went for a movie. There he caught him gazing at me several times during the session. But i ignored this. Jokingly i said ” Dude am not going to fall for you”. Coz really i never thought beyond this friendship. We went for shopping also he waited for me and i felt his care.
Each time we met he showed me signs he was interested in me but i refused to accept. Once it happened we were taking lunch in a restaurant. There was a guy over there i think he was the supervisor. All of a sudden Stephan interrupted me and asked me if i know the man.i said no. He started making awful comments upon the supervisor he does not has dressing sense etc etc.. that made me laugh. His act forced me to think over. But after all why was he envied? Maybe he loves me?
He was doing things which Dwane never did before and that of a lover. Dwane rarely talked to me for 10 mins. And Stephan was all here for me. Morning and good night msgs.. He even sent links of romantic songs We talked during lunch time. He usually left me a text when he is back home from work. We skyped too. When i talked to my fiance i started to take Stephan’s name instead of his. I was perplexed, completely confused. Whenever i felt am going to take Stephan’s name i just ended the conversation. I talked about this to my friends.
My goodness! They told me that am falling for Stephan. I refused to digest this. If it happened Stephan did not pick up my phone call i got worried i waited for him. I trusted him a lot i dont know why i felt that he will never get down whatever happens. At times we even quarreled over small issues. Stephan has got an ego problem whether he is wrong he started the fight i should apologise.Omg! But am so attached to him that i end by sending him sorry msgs. but he never replies any of these. This continues till 3 days. And me am used to him so i keep on sending him msgs on facebook or on phone. at last he would reply me on the 4th day saying a hi. And i melted once i get his msgs.he even unfriended me on facebook several times re-add we fight again as if its a repeating pattern. at last i realise my feelings for him.
i guess he knows that i love him coz he told me that i cant live without him now. still i denied. he then said that ” ok if this is true you are going to hear me as from now” i replied that i was joking and he said he is serious! n things went on. we are still best friends.Its now i realise that i love Stephan a lot. i don’t know what’s in his heart. But i feel that he is going far from me. last night he said that i make things complicated. I have always a problem whether at work or family issues. And that’s why he avoids too much of talking coz he keeps himself immune from these matters. He keeps himself calm. Whether by watching a movie or playing with his dog. He even told me that he is not telling me to be like himself to 100% but at least i should know how to limit my life to problems and be stable. He even talked about Dwane that i loved the wrong guy who could not value me. I know he is talking right. coz really am very much emotional and he is not. Right now we are still in a fight mode. today he did not send me a good morning message. I miss him a lot
April 21, 2014 at 10:43 am #55120Jennie90Participant
- This topic was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Lucie. Reason: mistake of grammar
Don’t be sad. The way you are talking about Stephan seems that he loves you too. But i think its high time for you to move on. If you are feeling suffocated in your present relationship let it go. Maybe this guy Stephan is hesitating to confess his feelings to you due to the fact that you are already taken. So chill give Stephan some time and meanwhile you talk to your fiance if you think that is not going to work between you both. 🙂