fbpx
Menu

I still don’t know if he cheated

Home→Forums→Relationships→I still don’t know if he cheated

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • February 6, 2018 at 11:44 am #191021
    Sophie
    Participant

    my ex and I ended the relationship a year ago, since then we saw each other everyday at university. Two weeks after the breakup he went on a trip with another girl from the university.

    While he was seeing her we kept sleeping together and having horrible fights. Six months ago I begged him to tell me if he has cheated on me, because he had moved on so quickly that it would have made sense he cheated. He swore he didn’t. Now, a year later, I broke any contact with him and I still wonder if he cheated, and I have this feeling of being ashamed that I don’t even want to talk it with my friends. He is currently Dating this girl and I feel that i can’t move on if I don’t know whether he cheated or not. I am thinking he did, but it is so hard to bare that I am still considering the chance that maybe he did not. What should I do?

    February 6, 2018 at 1:17 pm #191105
    Mark
    Participant

    Sophie,

    You two are done after a year.  Move on. That was the past.  You have broken contact with him.

    My take on past relationships is to learn what was my part in it.  I see all relationships as a learning opportunity about how I am/was.  What made me choose her?  What was in me that made me want to be the boyfriend?  What made us incompatible?  What was my part in the breakup?  What areas of growth are for me?

    Sophie, why is it important for you to absolutely know whether or not he cheated on you or not?  Would your shame be any less?  I would work on not going into your shame place instead.

    There is a TED talk by Bene’ Brown about shame.  There is a video of her talking with Oprah as well on shame.

    Mark

    February 7, 2018 at 6:00 am #191191
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Sophie:

    Did I understand correctly: a year ago the monogamous relationship with him ended. For a year after the two of you continued a non-monogamous relationship, that is, he was dating another woman while still dating you. Recently you ended all contact. You have wondered for a while if over a year ago he was already dating this woman he is still dating. Did I understand correctly?

    I also wonder about your feeling of shame that you mentioned: “I have this feeling of being ashamed”. Can you tell me more about this feeling?

    anita

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.