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I Think I'm Done Trying to Find Love

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  • March 28, 2018 at 7:43 am #199801
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hara:

    I was wondering, you and your sister growing up with your mother:

    did you free your sister to have a life outside the home by being present yourself for your mother, as a target for her ongoing criticism, and so, your mother being occupied with you freed her to have a life outside?

    anita

    April 1, 2018 at 4:00 pm #200423
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey, Hara. How are you holding up? I know you sounded distressed when we last spoke to you. I hope you had a happy Easter.

    April 3, 2018 at 7:23 am #200681
    Hara
    Participant

    Hi Aiyana,

    I’m still here. The young man I was dating tried to lure me back in on FB Messenger, saying he still loved me, and he wanted to try again. The following day (yesterday) he wanted to chat and called me to tell me that he was drunk and that we were both too mentally ill to see me. I had to black him on FB, but before I could finish, he cussed me out in a message.

    One minute he wanted me, the next he didn’t. I dedicated 7 mos. of my life to this man who I now feel was using me for sex, rides (he has no car) and cleaning his home.

    I do believe I will die a loner. It’s a fear I struggle with every day. Now that I have blocked him, maybe I can heal.

    Thanks for asking.

    April 3, 2018 at 7:26 am #200683
    Hara
    Participant

    Anita, I’m not sure I understand your question. My sister had a ton of friends, so she was able to get out of the house. I was the least popular girl in school, so I had nowhere to go. I came home everyday from school. Dena was a cheerleader, so she had extracurricular activities. I had none.

    April 3, 2018 at 8:05 am #200695
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hara:

    I asked because I was a lonely child, no friends really and my sister, six years younger was very popular. I spent more time than her, being exposed to my mother. Later on, recently, I found out, unfortunately, that my sister didn’t escape my mother’s bad influence. I thought she did. I was wrong.

    Back to you: I wish there was a away for you to no longer be exposed to your mother. I wish there was a way for you to live away from her.

    anita

    April 7, 2018 at 8:23 am #201203
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    We’ll be here if you need more support. You can have two support groups to really benefit you: one online, and another IRL. I was writing a letter about you to help you get through this difficult time. I hope this gives you the strength to persevere through life’s obstacles.

    Here is the letter:

    Dear Friend,

    I know you’re going through a rough time right now with your family. No family is perfect, but don’t fret, I won’t be spitting out cliche proverbs at you. I haven’t had a lot of life experiences on this Earth, but I do know that we’re not all meant to stay in one place forever. Some of us prefer it that way, but for people like you and me, we know that there is more out there to see in the world.

    We’re both strong women. You know you have an inner warrior inside of yourself. If you haven’t heard of her, I highly recommend that you read “Love, Warrior” by Glennon Doyle Melton. This woman went through emotional turmoil at all, but she crossed through hell to get to a peaceful union within herself.

    Fight on.

    Aiyana

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