Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→I want to feel accomplished
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anita.
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August 14, 2024 at 4:56 pm #436207
Shandrea
ParticipantI dropped out of high school in the 10th grade, I never gave up on the diploma, I earned it at age 32 in 2022(I want to thank Annita, while I was attempting to pass the test, I came on here daily and she always responded to me). Growing up adults treated me like I wasn’t important or that my needs weren’t important. Which made me feel like I wasn’t important. During my childhood we depended on the government fully and it was never enough. I currently cook at a high school, the schedule allows me to drop off and pick my son up from school. But it does not cover our living expenses, so I am depending on the government for partial food and shelter assistance. My goal is to go to trade school and earn a license so I can fully provide for us.
I think I don’t feel accomplished because I can’t afford our basic needs. So my Goal is to Figure it out.
August 14, 2024 at 5:29 pm #436209anita
ParticipantDear Jasmine:
Welcome back! I remember you, we communicated for a long time, you had a different account, had your photo above your screen name. Unless you deleted your thread, it’s still on record. I want to find it, if it’s there, and if it’s okay with you that I refer to it. I remember you got your high school equivalent diploma: so it was in 2022 (feels like we communicated before 2 years ago, more like five). Do you remember the month (and year) you last posted here?
“I currently cook at a high school, the schedule allows me to drop off and pick my son up from school. But it does not cover our living expenses, so I am depending on the government for partial food and shelter assistance. My goal is to go to trade school and earn a license so I can fully provide for us“- I remember that your last job, when we communicated, was a security guard, and back then, like now, your son is your first priority.
“I think I don’t feel accomplished because I can’t afford our basic needs. So my Goal is to Figure it out.“- your first and most admirable accomplishment is and has been: being a good mother!
I hope to read from you soon!
anita
August 14, 2024 at 7:05 pm #436212Shandrea
ParticipantI’ve had so many jobs, within the last couple of years. Trying to find one that works best for us. I want him to not feel less than as a adult, so I’m trying to make sure he has the important things, education, hobbies, future plans. I want him to be prepared for his adult future.
I’m a priority as well it’s just kids will eventually become adults, and he is my responsibility so when his schedule going well so is mines. I am working with him on his independence once he can get to school on his own I have more work availability.
August 14, 2024 at 7:33 pm #436214anita
ParticipantDear Jasmine: you ARE a responsible mother, a responsible adult, and a responsible citizen, all these things. I am in awe of you! (More Thurs morning).
anita
August 15, 2024 at 5:45 am #436230Shandrea
ParticipantDear Anita,
I struggle with self-doubt, rejection, and I used to be afraid of failure. After passing the High School Equivalent I’m not afraid to fail, the goal is to not fail but when I was afraid, I didn’t try. If I don’t try, I don’t succeed.
I think one of the most meaningful jobs I ever had was my Nursing Assistant Job at age 18, I worked 16-hour shifts on Saturday and Sundays, My current son wasn’t born yet, but I had the kid with cerebral palsy, so I worked weekends to be available during the week to put him on the school bus. My mom cared for him while I worked the double shifts. Long Term Care facilities work schedule don’t work with school hours, but I can afford my bills and there is room for growth.
I been receiving government assistance since I was a kid im now 33 . I appreciate them because I dont know where I would be without them but the goal is that I can afford our important needs with only working 40 hours a week.
August 15, 2024 at 6:38 am #436231Helcat
ParticipantHi Jasmine
Well done on getting your diploma as well as your job.
You have the most important job ever raising a child!
You feel bad for receiving assistance, did you know that children are the backbone of the economy? Taking care of families is an investment that countries make because families are very valuable to the economy. Birth rates around the world are declining and every child becomes even more precious.
You are judging yourself for your circumstances as a child which led to your circumstances as an adult. Your journey is truly just beginning.
You want to provide your child with the best life and help him to succeed. I’m sure that you will succeed. With all of the struggles you have experienced you have learned to overcome.
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
August 15, 2024 at 7:10 am #436233Shandrea
ParticipantDear Helcat,
Thank you for the compliments. Being a mom is a full time job, I still have goals of my own and responsibilities. Im trying to make time for everything important .
August 15, 2024 at 11:53 am #436239anita
ParticipantDear Jasmine:
I just finished reading through our 24-page communication on your other thread. A short walk on memory lane:
On March 16-17, 2021, I wrote to you: “As a kid, you had hope for the future, the future held promise, didn’t it? For a child, there is a promise in the air, a promise in the way the sun hits the green grass, or the frost on the ground- that life can be and will be wonderful soon enough. There is an energy in a child, a curiosity, a hope that is hard to extinguish…
“When we are depressed, the feeling-alive, hopeful and curious- these feelings are still in us, masked and muted. Sometimes these feelings come to life just a bit, and we take some action for a better life (ex., exercise so to lose weight and get fit, study for a GED so to get a better job), but these feelings get muted too soon and we find ourselves depressed yet again, abandoning our efforts to make our lives better. It is very difficult to change this emotional dynamic of short part- awakenings and long-term depression, but it is possible. If you want to, we can think together about how to make this change happen“- I wonder what you think about the above, 3 years and 5 months after I wrote it..?
On Aug 6, 2022, I wrote to you: “Your own success story is your current daily motivation- this is much better than someone else’s success story being your motivation: you succeeded one way=> you can succeed in another way=> .. and in yet another way, one day at a time, patiently“.
Aug 9: “You are amazing, Emily“.
You wrote on Sept 5, 2022: “One day I’m gonna have a success story to tell because despite of all the pain I endured I’m still improving myself“, and I responded with: “you already have a success story to tell, an ongoing- continuing story. Thank you for telling it!”
You wrote on that day: “My pain makes my success story unique because sometimes I didn’t know how I was going to survive but I always do“, and I responded with: “this sentence should be framed and hung on the wall.. on many walls in many places- for people to read and be inspired by“.
On Oct 5, 2022 you asked me: “why do you think I’m amazing?“, and I answered: “because even though you have had a very difficult life from the very beginning, you are an intelligent, courageous, positive, responsible, resourceful, gracious and honest woman: no ‘poor me’ mentality, no guilt-tripping anyone, no passive-aggressive expressions… and this is very rare! You suffered many misfortunes and lost a lot in life… (yet) You always looked for a higher paying job and a better life for you and for your second child: you bought fitness equipment, read motivational books… You persisted with studying and passing the various tests and in July 27, 2022 (I believe), you earned your GED!“.
On Oct 10, 2023, you deleted your account, and posted for the last time, on that day (following my inquiry): “Dear Anita, I should have mentioned to you that I was taking a break from venting . I still don’t have answers to all my problems. I have made progress but I’m still not where I want to be . Maybe I’ll start a thread…“.
And indeed, you started a new thread ten months and 4 days later, on Aug 14, 2024: “I currently cook at a high school… I’ve had so many jobs, within the last couple of years… I think one of the most meaningful jobs I ever had was my Nursing Assistant Job at age 18.. Long Term Care facilities work schedule don’t work with school hours, but I can afford my bills and there is room for growth“- You had different jobs: a Certified Nursing Assistant, a Cashier, a Security Officer, a Preschool teacher/ assistant, a bus driver, a delivery driver. And the most meaningful job for you was a Certified Nurse Assistant. I hope that you can make it happen, Jasmine! What are the steps to make it happen?
anita
August 15, 2024 at 1:38 pm #436242Shandrea
ParticipantDear Anita,
Yes we can think together on how to make that change happen. I believe that long term fulfillment within myself is possible even after being depressed and sad for so long. Yes, I still motivate myself daily with positive affirmations.
I started the process already I reached out to my local career center to apply for them to pay for the training class, Once I complete the 6 weeks to 8 weeks of training I receive my certificate. This will not be a overnight process I’d say within the next 6months because of the training payment assistance.
August 16, 2024 at 7:04 am #436256Helcat
ParticipantHi Jasmine
It sure is! It sounds like you are crushing it and a bit of a super woman. 😊 Great to hear that you are managing everything and have goals for yourself.
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
August 16, 2024 at 8:44 am #436263Shandrea
ParticipantDear Helcat,
According to google Superwomen is a woman with exceptional strength or ability, especially one who successfully manages a home, brings up children, and has a full-time job. Thank you for that. My goals all come from my insecurities. I guess confidence is something built through trial, error and success.
August 16, 2024 at 9:42 am #436266anita
ParticipantDear jasmine:
“Yes we can think together on how to make that change happen“- making progress is indeed way easier when we feel positive and excited than when we feel negative and depressed. Key is to keep at it regardless of how we feel. Easier said than done, of course. Yet, I see no other way to making progress on an ongoing basis.
“Yes, I still motivate myself daily with positive affirmations“- you can continue to make progress, Jasmine: you have what it takes!
“I started the process already I reached out to my local career center to apply for them to pay for the training class. Once I complete the 6 weeks to 8 weeks of training I receive my certificate. This will not be a overnight process I’d say within the next 6months because of the training payment assistance.“- congratulations for starting the process! So, at this point, you are waiting for the career center to approve your application to have your training class paid for?
anita
August 16, 2024 at 11:24 am #436270Shandrea
ParticipantDear Anita,
Do you mean keep at the goal no matter how I feel ?
Currently waiting for a Community Service Aide at the career center to reach out by phone to complete a intake form after that they schedule my orientation finally once those things are completed I was told they give me a list of schools they work with and I enroll .
August 16, 2024 at 11:32 am #436271anita
ParticipantDear Jasmine;
Yes, keep at the goal no matter how you feel, but allow for slower days and some temporary regressions. So, you are waiting for a phone call so to complete the intake form by phone. Yes, one step at a time!
anita
August 16, 2024 at 11:43 am #436272Shandrea
ParticipantDear Anita,
Temporary regressions meaning things might not always go as planned ? Yes, One step forward at a time .
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