I have been with my husband for 16 years. When I met his parents, I also fell in love with them. They seemed kind, open minded and loving. The appeared to be the happily married couple that had the structured and united family that I longed for, coming from divorced parents. Everything seemed perfect. My partner´s only brother and his then girlfriend of three years -now wife- were less warm- shortly after meeting, my now sister in law said something really immature and nasty to me that left a bad taste. I thought it was stupid, but given that she continued with her nasty, catty demeanor towards me, I had to say something and brought this to light. From there, the situation has been very tense, it has never been good and it has frayed my husband’s relationship with his family. I have gone to therapy and discussed this and have tried now in two occasions to mend fences for the sake of my husband’s family unity, even though I have always been perhaps the adult in this case, but his brother and wife and also his parents have proved over and over to be selfish, immature, unthoughtful people. They walk the world with such entitlement, they are really exhausting to be around. Through time it has become evident that my B/SIL are protected and enabled by my husband’s parents to be and act this way, they are all peas in a pod. His parents have had no problem judging us and claiming we are responsible for this issue, while never claiming or calling Ils out for their continuous lack of care for others but themselves. Through time I have found about the different treatment standards they have for my husband, because he is not needy and dependent like his brother, he is strong. His parents have a double standard when it comes to their two sons. The one event that was enough for me was when my BIL’s dog bit my child. Instead of accepting responsibility for his dog and showing concern for my child -his nephew- he placed the blame on him and proceeded to unload on me, yelling at me. I was able to hold my own, and stood strong. I could have had that dog euthanized on the spot, but did not because “we were family”. My husband’s parents remained silent on this and took my BILs side on this issue also blaming my child and showing little concern. Their silence was it for me. At this point I no longer want to be related to these people. For the sake of my husband and since he does feel genuine love for his family, I want to support him in pursuing a relationship with his folks. I want to forgive them and move on… but I struggle. I just cannot believe people can be so despicable and detached. Advice on how to rid of that load will be appreciated. I want to find balance to support my husband while remaining detached and away from his family’s toxicity.

• This topic was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Irene Falco.