i am a logical person. I never let emotions control me. Except for my anger. That I have no control over. My anger is the reason why I have no family and no friends. Nothing nice. Because of my anger, I destroy everything and blame everyone.

I hate people because of it. I find the smallest things to hate in people. The way they talk, walk, look, smell, breath, and so on. Everything just annoys me. So I isolate myself. But after awhile I get lonely.

its hard to completely isolate yourself. I killed so many animals growing up because it’s the only thing that makes the feeling go away. And now I’m afraid I’m going to kill someone. I almost did multiple times. Like some kind of animal in me is controlling me and I have to try so hard to take control. I am completely paralyzed.

i am so alone. I am destroying everything in my way. I can’t stand it anymore. I’m losing my mind. Or maybe I already lost it.

I feel like I just need to kill someone to feel sane again. But I don’t want anyone to find out and think I’m a monster. I don’t want to be completely alone.

but I will if I have no other choice.