I’m a 28-year-old (female) and I’ve been with my current boyfriend (31-years-old) for 6 months. We’ve been taking our relationship slow as he’s very reserved, has mostly had short-term relationships, never lived with a significant other, etc… Overall, there has been some good forward progression throughout our relationship. He’s thoughtful, kind, patient, and extremely receptive to any concerns I have. He did initiate saying that he loved me and we do tell that to each other. We both try to meet once or twice during the work week in the evening and then we’ll do one or two sleepovers at one of our apartments on the weekends. I’ve met his family several times and he hasn’t met mine yet because they live almost 4 hours away.

There have been a few times on Instagram where I’ll notice on the “following page” that he’s “liked” a few pictures of other girls (not celebrities or models, but girls he went to school with in the past or might know through friends). I ignored it the first couple of times, but the third time I asked him about it and he apologized, said he didn’t mean for it to come off that way and that it was more just habit of liking a wide-array of pictures in his Instagram feed. He said he loved me and would try to be more mindful of the content he was “liking.”

This should be enough reassurance to put it behind me, but my personal insecurities are coming to the surface big-time. These thoughts repeat in my mind like a broken record: “He’s eventually going to leave me for a girl who intrigues him more than I do.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not interesting enough.” “I’m not naturally exciting to be with.” “I don’t make enough money to do extremely exciting things like take exotic vacations.”

There are several people I had relationships with in the past and I grew to really like them, and they all ended up breaking up with me and leaving. I expect my current boyfriend to leave me at some point. I see some couples who have been together for years or even decades and I wonder “How did you find someone who loved you THAT much just the way you are?” I want that very badly.

I think at this point I have two choices:
1) I have to trust him. He says he loves me. He is currently still with me. It’s pointless to worry about something that hasn’t even happened. I can’t predict the future. I have to live in the present… and the present is that we’re together and he loves me.

2) This is the hardest: I have to believe I’m good enough just the way I am. So let me brain-storm some ideas.
– I’m mentally resilient. I made the decision to no longer be in contact with my mom because she was being verbally and emotionally abusive. I survived a broken engagement to someone I was in a relationship with for 5 years and have slowly re-built my life alone (my living situation, my financial situation, etc…). I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition and made the necessary arrangements in my life to continue working full time and managing a pretty normal life.
– I love trying new things. For example, my boyfriend asked if I would want to try indoor rock climbing with him. While this isn’t something I’d normally do on my own accord, the experience interests me and I’m open to trying something new because it’s exciting.
– I care very deeply for the people I’m close with. I love randomly picking up my boyfriend’s favorite candy or food while I’m out shopping just because I know it’ll be a nice surprise for when we see each other. I’m very affectionate physically and emotionally. I definitely have a committed “I don’t want to give up on us” attitude.
– I take pride in making myself look nice for my partner and if we go out to dinner I like to spend a little extra effort on the outfit I’m wearing and things like that.

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on how to keep my insecurities and fear of abandonment at bay? Thank you.