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In love—online and with someone taken

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  • #344564
    Liana
    Participant

    Hello everyone, I have a bit of a problem I’m not coping with and would like to share.
    I fell in love with someone online, on social media. It happened via reading his posts and talking. We’ve never met.
    I’m single, and I know he has a girlfriend. That was on his feed at some point although besides she never surfaces anywhere. A couple times he said “we.”
    So he’s a “we,” and I’m an “I.”
    I know he likes me because he told me. We messaged some.
    He’s my favorite feed, I’m his favorite feed.
    I tried to scale down communication but whenever I do he’ll either reply to my post or, recently, messaged to tell me he missed me and if I was OK.
    I feel that he cares about me and I care about him.
    That said, this is very difficult on me. I almost deleted my account at some point.
    I don’t really want to be online friends. And we’re not that far from each other—that’s the additional factor that makes things difficult on me, the awareness of it.
    I guess what I should do is either cut it cold turkey as I somewhat tried already, phase it out as I somewhat tried already, or somehow through my bleeding heart accept that this is what it is. Only the latter is very difficult to do and causes me a lot of suffering.
    Well, there it goes. I know my story isn’t unique. I know I’m not the only one.
    Thanks for reading this. Maybe it helps someone in a similar situation. You’re not alone.
    Hope everyone reading this is well. Stay warm and safe from the virus. 🙂

    • This topic was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by tinybuddha.
    • This topic was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by tinybuddha.
    #344620
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Liana:

    Thank you for wishing everyone to “stay warm and safe from the virus”, I wish you the same.

    You wrote: “what I should do is either cut it cold turkey as I somewhat tried already, phase it out as I somewhat tried already, or somehow through my bleeding heart accept that this is what it is”-

    – what about a third option: send him a message telling him what you told here. You can probably summarize it into a couple of paragraph, half a page. And see what he writes back to you. Isn’t it a fourth option?

    anita

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by anita.
    #344876
    Liana
    Participant

    Thank you Anita.

    I did think you’d give me that advice and two days ago it didn’t seem like an option. However, since reading your reply I thought it through and I think I’ll do it.

    If there’s anything beautiful in this world, it’s being loved. Why not to tell someone that you have feelings for them, that they compelled such feelings? They should know how wonderful they are.

    Another reason why I’m thinking about it now is that I think I have a coronavirus case. I have very bad shortness of breath. I struggle for oxygen. I know I’ll likely end up in the ER. I don’t know if I’ll return from it. All symptoms match except for fever, but I never get fevers, and only about 90% of covid19 cases get fever, per data.

    So I know I may not make it. I’m in my thirties. But this illness takes people that age too. And now that I feel like I’m suffocating, I can’t see a reason not to tell someone I like them. I think he knows anyway. But at least I’ll tell him in case I go. He’ll have that.

    And that’s my message to anyone here with the same dilemma. Do it before it’s too late. Tell them they’re wonderful. You may not get another chance.

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by Liana.
    #344882
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Liana:

    My goodness, you might have the coronavirus? You typed the above five minutes ago! Better get to the ER immediately. My goodness! According to  www. worldometers. info/ coronavirus (no spaces), 95% of the active cases, that is of people who are currently infected (of all ages, all health conditions), experience a “mild condition” of the disease, and only 5% are “serious or critical”, so you have 95% of having a mild condition of the disease and you will be okay.

    I hope you are on your way to the ER as I type this and hope to read from you soon!!!

    Be well-

    anita

    #345088
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Liana:

    Thinking about you, wondering how you are doing, wishing you well and hoping to read from you when you are feeling better, soon I hope.

    anita

    #345800
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Liana:

    Still thinking about you… hoping you are healing, hoping  to read from you soon!

    anita

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