I know what you’re thinking – oh yet another story about someone still in love with their ex. I know, its a story thats been told numerous times so let me add my own.

I dated this guy in college for a year and some months – my longest and best relationship. He means so much to me, I fell for him quickly and that’s never changed. The only thing is we come from very different backgrounds and in my culture, I am not allowed to see folks outside of my specific culture. He knew that when he got in the relationship with me but we both could care less. However, as time progressed, things got more serious and we both fell for each other. However, as he started talking about marriage and kids, part of me was so happy because I wanted the same thing, other part of me freaked because this couldn’t happen knowing my strict family and its restrictions. He broke up with me, understandably so. We did not talk for a few months and I found out he had started dating someone else. I was hurt but again, I understood. I dated someone else too – but I still could not forget him. I always compared everyone after him to him and I was never happy.

However, we saw each other even when we were with other people (only as friends) but he just seemed so content and happy with his relationship that I left it alone and we didn’t see each other until after they broke up. I saw him after almost a year and a half a few months ago and he kissed me. The kiss just bought all the feelings back (..but they never truly left). It’s been about 6 months since I’ve been seeing him – he lives about 2 hours away so we plan things every month-, he’s asked me to be his date to company parties, to his friends parties, among other things. When we are together, it feels like we REALLY are together – hand holding, intimacy, and all that good stuff. But when we are apart, we don’t talk for days, sometimes weeks. A part of me knows this cannot work, a part of me loves him too much to let him go.. I know he loves me too but he won’t say it and neither will I. One of us is going to get hurt but I don’t know how to stop this and to be honest with you, I don’t know if I want to.

Even if I bring this up to my family, and in some parallel universe they miraculously agree, I don’t think he would agree at this point. He’s been through so much with me and I don’t think he even considers marriage or a relationship with me a possibility any more. Even though what we are doing right now feels like a relationship.

Please advise or offer your insight. Sorry for the long paragraphs.