Julie,

I would tell you to follow your gut intuition here. I think one of the reasons you may be nervous to bring something like this up is the fear of rejection. Fear can keep us all in a state of indecision. It is easier to be indecisive than to get over the fact that we are scared to be rejected and deal with those feelings. We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve been rejected in some manner so our fight or flight instinct is to do anything to avoid that pain again. Our bodies are hard wired to protect us. We would rather keep our honest feelings inside so we don’t risk losing what we desire so that we can keep it around for as long as possible and hang on to the feelings that make us feel good even though the situation as a whole does not feel good in some way (the reason you would like change). I would recommend you sitting down in a quite place and take some time to visualize yourself telling him how you feel or writing it out (whatever works best for you). Think about how the conversation could go and feel good no matter what his answer to your question is. If he agrees to a long distance relationship you will feel very happy, your feelings for him will feel validated and you will be on cloud nine. If he doesn’t think this is a good idea for whatever reason he has, you need to visualize how you will be okay with has answer. This will take some time because you will hit roadblocks that don’t feel good along the way, but the point of visualizing or writing these out is so you can work through them and shift the way the responses will make you feel. Because if he honestly isn’t okay with the idea you will know it by his body language and verbal cues. If he isn’t ready for a long distance relationship then it wouldn’t truly make him happy and if he forced himself to do it then that would only last so long and it would end in heartbreak. So be ready to hear his honest feelings and get to a place where you know you wouldn’t judge him for his honest answer. He has a past that you can and will never truly know completely that will be shaping and molding his decisions (just like you do). We tend to get caught up in our own stories about why someone doesn’t want to do something but honestly it could have nothing to do with who we are or how much we mean to them it could be about pain from their past that we know nothing about. In any relationship we should only want happiness for the other person and be respectful of what will make them happiest in life. So just be sure to not get caught up in his decision meaning anything about who you are as a person or what you have to offer. Be confident about who you are and what you have to offer and if it isn’t the right time, be okay with that. Be happy that you will get to keep a really good friend close until maybe one day you guys are on the same page and can either be more or just continue a great friendship.

Good luck! And Trust me, I know it’s always easier said than done. But you got this, in your own time:)