Hi Anita,

I don’t know if it was a really a joke. It was more of a tongue in cheek thing where I was basically contradicting what I said. It was meant to be kidding but I said she was an unintentionally mean person. After that, I just went on and said a lot of things about her as a person that I thought was great, and how I’m usually guarded but I couldn’t help but let her in. Also, I told her that I couldn’t help but care about her. I know it was a stupid thing to say now. Especially if someone doesn’t get your sense of humor. It was supposed to be a contrast thing.

I know it was a mistake and I apologized for it. I’m just guessing that some people aren’t willing to give you a second chance. It just sucks because this is the first woman that I felt could have been someone worth giving your best for.

Also, we did speak on the phone too and things seemed very comfortable and easy going there. I don’t think she got my jokes alot of times. Yes, I’m from north America in Canada,and my humour is more kidding. I never mean for it to be malicious or hurtful. She is a pre school and music teacher. I work in a warehouse. I don’t think she has been exposed to the the ribbing I have. I never did that to her but my skin is probably thicker. Her world has alot of sweetness to it.

She is a good woman that I would have liked to have known better

Hi Anita ,

I do hope that some time will make her think about all the good things I said to her.Nikijaine did make a good point about all of this. With that one text, I was shut down completely. I sent her so many messages before and some after that,that were honest,sincere,and from the heart. She was always telling me that I was an amazing guy and messaged me alot. It was strange when it all stopped suddenly.
It’s feels funny because I don’t see the world as black and white ,and I always try to give people the benefit of doubt. I had hoped she would see that I was a good man who sometimes make mistakes. We all do.
I want to stay positive but I don’t want to sit and pine for her. I feel that she deserved me as much as I deserved someone like her.
Nothing I said was ever meant to make her feel hurt. I tried to explain that but it doesn’t seem to matter. I know one thing. When I care about someone, I can’t just shut down on them.

Hi Anita,

It seemed that it happened quickly. She was so open and vocal about what she wanted and was so attracted to me. It drew me in because I wasn’t use it someone wanting to meet you so bad and talk so much everyday.

Last year, I dated two women about 3 times each. Knowing them about 3 months each. The first one was a little more open and it didn’t last after the third. The second woman was more aloof, and I tried alot more with her because she still had alot of good qualities,but it felt like so much work with her.

With this woman now, everything was easy and natural. It just seemed to flow. But I wonder how she could shut down so easily though. Maybe she is too intense about getting to know someone and falls in and out of things quickly. Like I said, if I care about someone, I care about them. I can’t instantly shut it off

Hi Anita,

I’m over thinking the situation. I don’t know what she is thinking, and making assumptions about it will just bother me more. It hard to just say it was an illusion though. The way she wrote things, and how she spoke in person, helped create the impression I got of her.
I have to just let it go.
The feeling I got from her was nice though. We all want to find someone special and who thinks we are special. I guess it’s not her.

Hi Anita and anyone else who might respond,
I took it upon myself to let that woman know that I was letting go of the possibility that she might change her mind about staying in touch, and seeing where things might go.

I expressed that I regretted that we weren’t able to go any further,and said that maybe time would give her a chance to see things differently.

I sent her one other message before this but I let her know that I won’t send anymore now. Why don’t I feel any better about it?
I already know the answer. It’s because I’m truly not letting go yet. Nothing in life is consistent but I guess the sudden turn around threw me for a loop.
I started to read about the four tenets of Buddhism and I know it will benefit me to study them more in depth.
It is just difficult after going through an emotional abusive marriage break down, and then really start to feel something for someone for the first since then,and have it fall apart before you can show them that you are a good hearted person.