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It's all coming down around me!

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  • #105856
    Lucas
    Participant

    Hello,

    Firstly, I am new. I have used this website before mainly to keep my mind at ease when worrying as the advice is helpful and to the point. However, now I need some actually advice on my own problem. I am suffering from what I would say is a ‘Crisis of Confidence’ I am a second year student (start my final year in October) who has recently been hit with a never ending case of the ‘what if’s’.

    My story is pretty simple, I am a worrier. I like to plan and prepare for the worst, I always expect the worse even when things are good in my eyes it will go bad. my girlfriend of 3+ years has recently finished University and got herself a job. It’s great she has money and she is happy and so am I for her anyway. For myself I am terrified, I finish next year and don’t have any idea of what to do, I need a job I know that. I want to move in with my girlfriend but not until I can pay my way I am a believer in 50/50 so I need to be paying my way. I have set my sights on a Graduate Teaching Position at the University, however, I don’t think I’m even slightly good enough to get it. I freeze up, my confidence and self esteem are low. I want to move past this but I can’t, I know I need to get this position or another similar to really believe I can do anything, I picked an subject I love and one that I hoped will give me a career once I have settled down. I also picked it due to its vast amount of different skills as Video and Film covers everything from organisation to editing.

    I just don’t know what to do, I know what I want. I have taken steps, I am doing a project in my city that is very important and I have been given a large role in it. I am also reaching out to youth centres to offer my assistance. But I know I will fail next March when it comes to applying for what now has passed on from something I would like to something I need to do.

    I just need some friendly advice and maybe some hope as at the moment I feels worthless, low and tired.

    peace.

    #105872
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear lw1993:

    You described yourself as a worrier: “I am a worrier.” Thing is, you were not born a worrier. You also described yourself as a pessimist (“always expect teh worse..”). Same thing.

    Things happend during your formative years, your childhood. As a consequence of events and interactions you became a worrier and a pessimist. These are hurting your functioning.

    I am suggesting you attend psychotherapy with a competent, caring therapist so to gain insight into your… forming, and through insigght and emotional regulation skills, you can slowly unlearn worry and pessimism to a large degree and learn realistic confidence and realistic optimism.

    anita

    #105923
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey,
    I think you will be fine. A lot of these things are a learning process, no one is good at them straight away. But seems like you need to try and find a way to manage the worries. I hear a lot of fears and anxiety over the future, but it seems you are doing the best you can :). I think you have a great plan and things will work out for you.I think as Anita says try therapy, it could really help you.

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