October 9, 2017 at 11:17 pm #172537
It's officially been one year since I talked to my mom (and I technically haven't seen her in a year and a half). I told her I didn't want to be in contact anymore after 28 years of her emotional abuse, neglect, and off and on abandonment.
I think she may actually feel relieved that I told her I didn't want to talk to her anymore. She hasn't reached out to me to reconcile or apologize, which hurts, but I think being estranged is the healthiest choice.
Sometimes I wish I had a mom though. One that would call me up, want to do “mother/daughter” stuff, etc…
My best friend gets happy hour appetizers every Wednesday after work with her mom. My boyfriend's mom and sister are very close. Whenever we all get together she always has stuff to give to her (like “I got you this sweatshirt to wear to the football game,” “Here are extra tickets for a round of golf,” “Here's a whole plate of food you can take to work for lunch tomorrow.”)
I've never… ever experienced that. None of it. I feel very “alone” in a sense. Just needed to vent a little and air the sadness I'm feeling.October 10, 2017 at 7:11 am #172577
Congratulations for a year of no contact with your mother!
I appreciate your need to vent and welcome it and I understand your sadness at observing what appears to be loving relationships between other daughters and their mothers.
anitaOctober 12, 2017 at 3:01 pm #172949
Your story really made an impact on me. I have a really loving mom and I can't imagine what it would be like to not have one. Life is unfair and it sucks sometimes. The fact that you are so emotionally intelligent shows me that you are not your mom. The only thing that you can do is have kids and love them as much as possible.
BasOctober 16, 2017 at 8:21 am #173395
I have a very similar experience as you. I have not talked to my mother since memorial day (5 months). My mother was also neglective and abandoned me when i was 18. The reason for my mothers issues are because she is addicted to cocaine. I did not tell my mother to stop talking to me however she made that decision herself. Some days i do wonder what it would be like for my mom to actually care about me, to come visit and do fun things with me. But then i remember the emotions i felt while she was still in my life, and the amount of hurt and sadness that came over me whenever i had to deal with her. Take your mothers wrong actions and let them benefit you in a positive way. Think about it this way, your mother showed you how to NOT be a mom. Use her actions to make yourself into a GREAT parent (if you want to have kids) or into a great human being who treats other people in a respectful way!