I have been trying very hard to feel positive about my circumstances but I feel like I’m just trying to delude myself. It’s been a hectic few months. I started university in September which was a massive change, and unfortunately haven’t found any good friends yet. I assumed I’d be friends with my flatmates like most people at uni, but unfortunately, I never see any of them, and we’re all very different people who just haven’t clicked.

Then, in October, the huge revelation came out that my dad has been having an affair for at least 2 years (though increasing evidence suggests that something’s been going on for rather longer than that). This was a world-changing discovery and so shocking from someone like my dad, who seemed the epitome of a loyal, kind and devoted husband. He’s been on two holidays with her and is planning a skiing trip with her, and yet, he seems in utter emotional turmoil, apparently still having feelings for my mum (though whether he’s just saying that to soften the blow is another question that needs an answer). He can’t seem to make any decisions; according to Mum, he’s been crying buckets, which is very unlike him. We are still discovering new things about the affair. Dad just can’t be truthful with us. My mum is coping reasonably well but obviously it’s a crippling blow to her. Dad seems to be abandoning the whole family for this woman, who is a great deal younger than him and clearly won’t make a realistic life partner (why he can’t see that, I don’t know).

As far as I can see, the only positive thing in my life at the moment is my own relationship with my boyfriend. We’ve been together 1 1/2 years and we’re completely devoted to each other. But this whole situation has opened up huge worries and concerns about the longevity of our relationship. I don’t want to enter into a marriage thinking that one day I’ll be heartbroken! My boyfriend has assured me several times that he would never do what my dad’s done, but whilst he may say that now, how can he know that’ll be the case in 30 years’ time? But I do realise that our relationship is very different to my parents’. We’re much more openly affectionate to one another and are always telling each other we love each other, whereas my parents were never at all like this, which perhaps was a contributing factor to their relationship failing.

I’m also terrified about going back to university. I feel like I’m on very shaky foundations and my boyfriend is my rock. When I go to university, I won’t see him for stretches of 2 or 3 weeks, which doesn’t sound like too long, but in my current fragile state, I have really benefited from seeing him regularly during the holidays. I’ll need to find a coping mechanism for when I go back to uni because even since September, I’ve been feeling very lonely at uni, and I imagine I’ll only feel worse unless I adopt a different mindset.

There are several other more minor issues going on that also weigh on my mind. My university course is interesting but very difficult, particularly one module which I’m really struggling with. My best friend seems to be going off the rails at her university which is extremely weird, given we were both nerdy bookworms once, and now she goes partying and binge drinking and all the things we both used to hate. She’s changed a lot over the past year, becoming a lot more bitter about life, a lot more competitive in constantly comparing her life to mine (asking questions like, ‘Made lots of friends at uni?’ and the like, which sound like innocent friendly questions, but they’re really for comparison) and a lot less easy-going.

My mood is up and down like a yo-yo. One minute I’m shrugging off my problems, thinking everything will be fine; the next, I’m curled up in bed bawling my eyes out! I feel a general sense of depression and hopelessness. I just don’t know how to feel positive when it seems like there’s little to feel positive about. If anyone has any suggestions for how I can feel brighter again, I’d be very grateful.