Home→Forums→Tough Times→Knowing yourself in an empty room
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Sapnap3.
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August 31, 2013 at 8:13 pm #41492
CarlosParticipantHello TinyBuddha and It’s members!
I’ve been going through some really tough times recently and not so recently. But as for now I’ve just got done with a relationship that left me in ruins and as I’m trying to pick up the pieces I realize just how tired I really am from ‘love’ except not love but the problems that carries. My first relationship was intense. It was a level of stress that no normal relationship ever has and even tho when it was over I never gave myself credit for going through it. I just beat myself because it was over. I never took the time to say “Whoa buddy, this relationship was hard hard. You did good enduring so much” and pat myself in the back. I merely beat myself for it.
And now as the most recent one came to an end the truth hit me hard in the face. Almost as if I was falling right into the concrete. Just who was I? I’ve spent so much time and energy into these relationships and trying not to feel lonely being a single guy that I have no idea just who am I. That was extremely frightening to me. Suddenly around me everything changed. Soccer, A sport I never really cared about before I may actually like ! Was I really that distracted with other things not to realize this? It’s time for me to be selfish and go on a journey to know myself and achieve personal peace with my mind and body before I go out there and look for a special someone else.
Here is the thing tho. Ever since then. My friends. Or the social circle I used to belong to. I started feeling like I didn’t belong there anymore. They didn’t even called me by my name! Just an old nickname I don’t even like. I explained the situation to them and how I want to change things around and for them to please start calling me by my name and even so they ignored it and kept the nickname. It’s not that big of a deal for someone else but for me that was so decisive that I needed to get away from them. Because I know that they would have never see me as the new me once I’ve gotten to know myself but always as I was and that is a stepping stone on the way.
What do you guys think about what I’m trying to do here? And any advice is appreciated on how to achieve some peace within and on how to get to know yourself from scratch.
September 1, 2013 at 4:05 am #41496
CarlParticipantHi Carlos,
The title of your post caught my attention. I think what you are doing is great. How to know yourself from scratch……awesome question. Here’s my advice based on my own experience in getting to know myself. Invest 10 days of your life in a course I would call “Know Thyself 101”. That’s not the name, that’s just what I would call it. I wish I would have discovered this years ago but maybe I wasn’t ready for it until 3 years ago. I like the quote “when the student is ready, the master will appear “. I would highly recommend this course to anyone seeking answers about themselves and what life is really all about. Courses are offered free of charge at centers all over the world. Take the next step and check out the website at http://www.dhamma.org
Thanks for sharing. All the best! 🙂September 1, 2013 at 4:09 am #41497CarlParticipantHi Carlos,
The title of your post caught my attention. I think what you are doing is great. How to know yourself from scratch……awesome question. Here’s my advice based on my own experience in getting to know myself. Invest 10 days of your life in a course I would call “Know Thyself 101”. That’s not the name, that’s just what I would call it. I wish I would have discovered this years ago but maybe I wasn’t ready for it until 3 years ago. I like the quote “when the student is ready, the master will appear “. I would highly recommend this course to anyone seeking answers about themselves and what life is really all about. Courses are offered free of charge at centers all over the world. Take the next step and check out the website at http://www.dhamma.org
Thanks for sharing. All the best! 🙂September 1, 2013 at 8:07 am #41503
Sapnap3ParticipantCarlos,
I am going through the exact same things. Friends who u don’t connect with are amongst majority of the people in this world who don’t like to go on a “soul search” because they aren’t comfortable digging. They are blissfully happy being ignorant. You and I my friend are a minority. One of my friends told me that about 98% of the people in this world think that things happen to them. They think they are not responsible for things that happen in their lives. A higher power or a person or a situation dictates their life’s course. I also believe in a higher power but I think that power is inside of us. I cannot control others. Don’t get me wrong, this has been one of the hardest things I have been through in my life. The more time I spend with myself, the more isolated I feel. Its like the universe is making me spend time with myself (whether I like it or not) so that I can start loving myself.
My ex left me and my world crumbled. I couldn’t breathe. What I want to achieve from this journey is a better understanding of myself. My relationship failed due to both our insecurities. As much as I would like to tell myself that I would’ve grown and become secure if he gave me a chance, its not true. Only when he left me, I realized that I didn’t want to be that sorry girl who plays the victim. This didn’t just happen to me. Mine and his actions brought us to the point in our lives where we were awful to one another.
Why I am telling you this is because I started a forum on this site called “friends needed” and Matt gave me great insight on my situation. I urge u to read it.
Stay on this course of self discovery Carlos. U and I are bound to find happiness. True happiness not surface happiness. After this journey, who knows, we may find mates who will be exactly like us, who will truly be our soul mate. 🙂 for right now, I won’t date. Not even casually cause I know now that all I have been doing since I was 15 is go from one man to another looking to get “rescued”. That’s not fair to anyone. I miss my ex and right now even if I go on a date, I’ll do a direct comparison to him. So I am “staying off of that foot”
Carl I’ll check out the course above. Thank you -
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