August 16, 2014 at 6:49 pm #63523zaicaParticipant
hi everyone…i have already posted some of my own blog here at tiny buddha… but i feel it would be proper to open up a new one this time…. with my other blogs the persistent message from those who cared to reply was for me to meditate.. and ask myself what i really want… and to not compromise my own self-worth for the needs of others..
here’s what happened to me… i married a man, we had a son…we lived with my inlaws for a while, things became out of hand after some time, i felt that my husband doesn’t trust me enough in anything, he usually goes to his mom and sister for advice.. he makes me feel stupid actually.. then my relationship with my inlaws started to deteriorate, when i decided to go back to work… im not sure why, but my family said it was bcoz it seemed that my inlaws didnt want me to succeed and surpass their achievements esp my husband.. then a fight broke out with me and his mom and sister… and then my husband told me to pack my bags and leave.. i asked him if we could still fix it but he said he doesnt want me anymore.. then when we talked after 3 days hetold me that he is willing to build our family again for the sake of our son…then after 5 days he apologized and said he was just angry.. said he wants us back… then he made me an offer, to live across their house, his fathers apartment, and have our own home.. then he said after a year we can already afford to move and have that house that i wanted.. i asked him if we could start over again away from his family bcoz i dnt know if ill be comfortable living there, but he said it would be more practical for us to live there for a while until we could afford our own…
sat nam, matt, inky, yoda428, anoynymous, jasmine, the ruminant… thank you all for taking time to answer my blog…it helped me a lot to come to this decision….
after thinking everything through… what happened to me and my son.. the possible consequences… how my decision will affect my son’s life…
ive decided to learn to stand on my own… make myself stronger.. after my talks with my husband i realized im not really sure if everything will be ok when we get back together.. for one, i dont know if my relationship with my inlaws will still be ok.. and my husband is expecting that we’ll mend the ties… and im no longeer sure if i could still trust him not to choose his fammily over me and my son again the next time…for now i just want to be strong.. for my son… and for myself too…
ive already done what i want.. applied for the job that i wanted.. sat nam, im on it..:).. the supervisor said id be starting next month..
i dont know if im making the right decision right now. but im hoping it will be for the best..esp for my son..August 16, 2014 at 10:17 pm #63528MattParticipant
Sounds great! I know there are some cultural differences, but in my view, a husband supports and encourages his wife’s strength, helps it grow. Otherwise, he’s not really being a husband, he just wants a wife. Which is totally different. 🙂
I think its really wise of you to wish to come from a place of strength and independence. Why give him control? He’s not aiming as well as you are, and may need quite a few gentle slaps to keep him focused. 🙂
MattAugust 17, 2014 at 9:04 am #63535MikeParticipant
Is it better to stay together in an unhappy union for a kid(s) or to let go and find happiness elsewhere? This is the toughest question ever to answer and it seems that the “experts” all say different things. Strength and self-reliance are good traits to have and to pass on. A relationship is not much different from anything else in this world of impermanence. When something is broken and can’t be fixed it is madness to keep attempting to get it to work, when the very thing that kept it operational has crumbled into oblivion. Maybe people say it teaches children perseverance and not giving up, but it really teaches that we are better off being unhappy than to take chances and face difficulties alone.August 18, 2014 at 10:32 pm #63613zaicaParticipant
thanks guys…. appreciate it so much… im learning everyday to let go and gain peace of mind…..