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Life is a Mess

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • April 15, 2014 at 1:40 pm #54819
    Mypast
    Participant

    Hi
    My Name is Yuvi 21 year Old Guy ,Actually Past 5-6 Months were the toughest of all,Actually I Fall in a love with my ex girl friend AGAIN,Whom I know for the last 15 years, Since i was a kid ,and she did not told me that she was in relationship with another guy and i wasted months behind her,hoping that she would say yes to me,and wasted my precious time to study.

    One day she told me about her new boyfriend,and said that he wanted to talk to me,i agreed to it(however i really do not wanted to talk to him,but i agreed) Now,First Time We Just Talked Gently.and after talking to him, i did not communicated with her for approx one month knowing that She is in a relationship,cause i was really frustrated with this that she has got new boy friend and she even did not tell me in the beginning when i proposed her that she is already committed,But As the time progressed we become best friends from her side,i even made my mind for this that now i will be her best friend.Although my intentions were really clear that one day when i will complete my study and become a reputed person,i will take her back from him and live a happy life with her.

    Everything was going okay,one day her boyfriend got to know about our relationship,he read the messages that i sent to her on facebook and got to know i proposed her,And From THAT VERY DAY HE BECOME THE VILLAIN OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
    Every Now and Then he used to cause trouble for my friend,She Considers me her as a best friend,and cannot hear a single word against me,and same is the case with me,i cannot think bad about her. Her Boy Friend has done conversation on phone,asking me to go back from her life and simply stop talking to her. Now the Problem is I have Seen Her in Most Difficult Phase,I have seen her crying cause of earlier break up she had 1.5 years ago,from another guy and at that time i was the one who come in front and helped her a lot from That Emotional Dilemma and helped her in a great deal.

    Now Problem her New Boy friend is every now and than causing problem us,he has asked me to stop sending her message,stop contacting through phone and even on facebook. Even My Friend is suffering a lot from his behavior,her BOYFRIEND IS REALLY CUNNING,He said to me today in front of her on a phone conference,” let’s just a make a deal,let me be away for a particular period of time from her life ,and see what happens,if her relationship works out for the best,then i have Quit From her life,cause according to him,i am the main reason behind the conflict between them,Further he Added, if it did not work out good,He will be Out of her life.Even My She Agreed to it, Now i really did not agree to this,because i have fear of losing her. Because in past all attempts were made by her Previous Boy friend to kept both of us separate.

    Now My problem is i am having exam after 2 Months,and these exams are going to decide my Future and Career,If i succeed i will get job and i will start EARNING AND CHANCES ARE THAT I WILL GET HER BACK IN MY LIFE, but I have Wasted Months Behind her,i really find difficult to Clear my exam,My Preparations are like hell,I have not studied at all, my confidence is loose thanks to all these incidents,but at the same time if i start studying from say tomorrow there is hope that i can still clear them,but at the same time i cannot think even to loose her,and stop talking to my friend ,cause i guess,i still love him,I AM IN DILEMMA,What Should I do? SHall I Accept The Offer of her Boy friend?? If Yes,Surely He will take her away from me. on the other side,if i did not,my career and future will be in little dark.

    help me what to do? Shall i give them 2 Months time to live and carry relationship without me,and wait and watch,and and meanwhile Start Preparing for my exams,and after wards re enter in her life and give a strong message to that lad,after clearing my exams. But i have fear that he can take her too away from me so that we could never met and talk to each other,and i do not want it.but at the same time i do not want people to call me a Failure,cause i have never failed in any of the exams.

    Please Help me In sorting out the problem,i will be highly obliged,
    Thanks!

    April 16, 2014 at 3:21 am #54849
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Dear MyPast

    You are a young soul and perhaps, do not understand the consequences of your actions at this stage. You have 50-60 years of your life still in front of you and you need to figure out a way to ensure that you succeed in having a decent enough career to make some money. Pls do not waste your valuable time on things, which can wait.

    I would also like to know if this current love interest of yours will be happy to live with a partner who may not be able to support her emotionally, financially and physically in the near future.

    You are at an age where hormones are going wild and love is in the air……but hey, lust or love alone isnt enough for survival.

    Pls focus on your studies and career. Girls and other love interests will follow eventually.

    Positive energy coming your way,

    Good luck with exams

    Jasmine

    April 16, 2014 at 3:50 am #54850
    Mypast
    Participant

    Hey jasmine,Thanks for your Reply,Actually I have a strong emotional bonding with that girl,since i know her for last 15 Years,as i said,ever since i was a kid,i really cannot think of her,going out of my life,cause of a third person,who is causing problem in between us,I am Worried about that particular deal that her boy friend has asked me to do,one of us has to quit from her life,and most probably it will be me cause i know he will surely take her away from me. i do not have a friend like her,we used to share each and every thing about each other,in other words she is my dictionary and i am her’s.

    But Now Situation is getting worse,i used to waste 4-5 precious hours of study on Facebook,plus okay,if i agree to stay out of her life for a particular period of time,It will take time to accumulate my energy to refocus and concentrate on my studies,my career is in dark for sure,but at the same time that very sneaky feeling that she will be away from my life,is not allowing me to study and live happily. i used o think over and over about her.

    help me Please

    April 16, 2014 at 4:51 pm #54903
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Mypast

    I understand that you have an emotional bonding with your friend. That is great and awesome 🙂

    Why is it hard for you to understand that the girl doesn’t reciprocate your feelings ? She is with another guy. Leave her alone or be with her like a friend. If she wanted to be with you romantically in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this mess.

    Girls are not things. They are humans with feelings and they can choose whoever they wish to be with. She has chosen the other guy for the moment. You should respect that if you truly love this girl.

    Solution for you: Appreciate that you are in love with someone who may be in love with someone else. Respect that. Respect yourself for letting her go and focus on your life and studies. Start with 20 mins on a book, then take a few mins off to do whatever you need to do but come back to another chapter within 10 mins. Keep the cycle going for atleast 3-4 times and hey, you will be done with some study during that day. Be nice to yourself, my friend.

    And I strongly believe in one thing: Some things are just meant to be and they come into our lives to make us stronger and better. Learn the lessons and move on. If she is meant to be yours, she will come back to you eventually. I personally wouldn’t want to spend a life with such a girl but that’s me. I have had an emotional bonding with many of childhood friends for years and still do but that doesn’t mean, my romantic life will be spent with them too.

    To make it easier for you – I met my partner during an internship in a random café. Call it fate or destiny, but despite all odds, we were married within a few months and still are after so many years. My respect for him grows every day as he is such a divine soul. He lets me be ME and brings out the best in all of my actions. I couldn’t have asked for a better mate. So moral of the story: Life only gets better if you let it be, my friend. If you hang on to it too tightly, it becomes suffocating for everyone including yourself. Trust Universe to provide for your every desire when the time is right.

    Let go, Breathe and go back to studies.

    You will be in my prayers tonight.

    Jasmine

    April 18, 2014 at 3:51 am #54983
    Mypast
    Participant

    Thanks For Your Kind Words Jasmine

    Well,Now I am Being Surrounded By Another problem,I am Thinking Excessively Regarding What Happened in past 5 Year Ago,How I was Being Mentally Harassed by some Teachers,Some of My School Friends (Whom I Never Though they were),And How Weak I Felt at that time,i have had so many verbal fights with them,and when i think about them even now,i feel really help less,i feel sacred all of them,they used to make fun of me,my family etc.the verbal fight with my Friend’s Boy Friend has led me to think in this direction,that in near future too,i will be harrased in the same manner.

    i am a kind of guy who do not like the jokes are cracked on him by those whom i really do not well,still people used to hurt me by saying some stupid words,and i find it difficult to forgive them all.

    I am thinking it all cause of the fight i have had with that nasty fellow (My Friend’s Boyfriend)
    I am Really Stuck in past. Uff,Some Other Painful Moments!

    April 18, 2014 at 5:26 am #54986
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    You are still a kid Yuvi. Enjoy life and don’t worry about what others are saying or doing. You just focus on your life, pls.

    Forgiveness is a choice. If you are able to forgive people, you become free. If you hold on to resentment, you become a prisoner of your own emotions and logical mind. Life becomes a pain and full of miseries. If you can do one thing for yourself, start with a gratitude exercise each morning. Think of things, which are good in life and offer your gratitude. When we adopt an attitude of gratitude, everything becomes more beautiful with time.

    But, hey no stress. Enjoy your youth. These days won’t come back.

    J

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