Long Distance: Change In Relationship

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    I have been in a long distance relationship for just under 2 years. For the first year+ he was the most loving, sweet, caring, and fun boyfriend. We communicated daily through text, call, and would Skype almost every other day. I was extremely happy and felt that he was the one.

    But over the past few months, things have changed.

    He has gotten very busy with school, projects, and starting a business. I am happy for him and want him to achieve his dreams, but I feel neglected and lonely as we barely communicate anymore. We barely text, call, or Skype. I feel that I am initiating everything and that I am the only one who puts in effort. And every time we do talk he is so distracted and thinking of other things. I used to feel so loved and now I just feel like I am not a priority.

    To be fair, he still replies when I text or call, and does still say “I love you” but lately I have been wondering if he means it, because actions speak louder than words…

    I have tried telling him what I need as well as being patient and trying to understand his situation but at the end of the day I feel so sad and neglected…

    -Here’s where I am seeking advice-

    I have three main questions I would like to ask everyone:

    1) I am conflicted about whether I should just be patient and understanding of his situation or if I should push further and try to communicate my needs. Does anyone have any advice? I kind of don’t want to communicate my needs anymore, as I have tried, and we speak so rarely that I feel like anytime we do talk I always mention more “serious” things which I am sure he doesn’t enjoy…

    2) After reading some articles on this site, I have started to wonder if the loneliness, neglect, and insecurity are all stemming from within me, and are all in my head… Any thoughts about this? If so, what I can do about this?

    3) Is it normal for relationships to change like this? And do things change back? Has anyone experienced this?

    Thank you very much, any insight would be most appreciated.


    It does hurt when the choice of rebuilding the relationship does NOT lie with us .. All we can do accept the fact that he/she has moved on.
    No amount of trying to push or plead helps – once someone has made up his/her mind, it’s impossible to make him/her see things our way … We’ve ceased existing for them.
    The only way ahead is downhill, and the beginning of the end.
    Of course, there’s nothing to stop us from hoping. But that’s All we can do.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by kumar.
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