Hi Anita,
Thank you for your reply. I don’t have any specific topic at this moment but I may have a problem and I a need an opinion if that is OK with you. I’ve been going in and out of my Buddhist practice. I know the spiritual path is the only path of salvation but the material world keeps pulling me back in its tangled web. If I could have it my own way I would put on a monks robe and spend the rest of my life in meditation in some forgotten corner of the world. But as it is, I go to work and pay my bills and I can only steal a moment or two to be the one I would like to be, not the one the society has made. How do you balance your spiritual world with the material world? Any words of advice?

Thank you. Namaste!

BoH

Dear Anita,
Sorry for being so late with my replay. I am having a hard time trying to understand and express what’s going on in my life.
Like I said, I have moments, days, when I enjoy even the most mundane tasks . like my work or paying my bills. I enjoy even the daily challenges, like dealing with the ignorance and negativity of some people. I get through my daily chores with a smile on my face and I even have some moments to be creative. (I am working on writing a book) My spiritual practice, meditation, is focused, healing and energizing. Everything is like I wanted to be. But that state doesn’t last too long. Life wears me down. I get to a point were the material world gets to me. I get tired of trying to be good and do the right things and I get into a state of “I don’t give a damn anymore.” I go into a isolated, vegetative mode where I don’t want to do anything just seat there and stare at the walls. My spiritual practice doesn’t help. I cannot focus and get my energy up again. I know what I should do but I don’t.
This usually lasts a couple of days until I get tired of being tired. Then I go back in being and feeling OK until the cycle repeats itself. It is very frustrating and I would like to break this up and down cycle but I don’t know how. I cannot see what I am doing wrong.

Any thought, advice?

BoH

Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for your time and your kind and wise thoughts. It is nice to have a different point of view, to compare with your own thoughts. I grew up as a Christian and part of the Christian thought, the original sin, Christ as the only path to salvation, etc, etc, did not appeal to me.
One of the first books I ever read was a biography on Buddha’s life called “Siddhartha” by Hermann Hesse. It is not a religious scripture by any means but it is one of the best biographies on Buddha just by the fact that is not written by a religious follower. What most attracted me to Buddhism was the search for ending human suffering, of attaining enlightenment not after death but in this life. It is very clear to me that “desire” is the source of all human suffering but my interpretation and understanding of that percept is that looking for fulfillment, happiness and success in the material world, outside of yourself is bad. Looking for inner happiness and peace is good. After all didn’t Buddha desire to end suffering? Didn’t he desire “enlightenment”? Didn’t he rejected the “ascetic” teachings of suppression of joy and pleasure?

I think my problem is not seeking “joy” in the material world. I think my problem is being too judgmental.  Not being able to accept everything and everyone with absolute compassion. I guess I still have a lot to learn J  What do you think?

Namaste

BoH