Looking for myself and being okay after a break up

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    Hi Guys, I ended a very special relationship 5 weeks ago because my BF of a year and a half of a wonderful relationship (we are in our early forties), could not come to terms with living under the same roof and merging our lives as this would mean…he would have to share a roof with my 6 year old boy, and he was almost “done” with his 13 and 15 year old girls.

    Needless to say. This devastated the relationship. I could not recover after he brought up that issue.

    I felt like he was very selfish I never asked him to be responsible in any way for my kid (I make more money than he does) – I was shocked that this was his character.

    Its been 5 weeks and I miss him – but I know I did the right thing.

    I am 40. I am in great shape and I am pretty sound emotionally and mentally (very healthy lifestyle).

    I am trying to move on and really focus on myself and meeting other people…

    Sometimes I feel like one day I will be back with this person…but the sometimes I feel like I am so deeply wounded I never want to see him again.

    I broke it off, because he was being aloof and pulling back and feeling all nervous and scared at the thought of going to the next level. He looked like such a coward to me. A scared pathetic shell of a man.

    I guess what I miss is being in that wonderful relationship post the “conversation and four weeks” that ended it all..

    I am just looking for reassurance from my tiny Buddha friends that I will find someone else that i will have a great connection with and will accept me and my son.


    I don’t know if anyone can realistically give reassurances to you on this.

    What I do know is that focusing on loving kindness is a great way of creating the life and relationships that nurtures us.

    I have faith in love. I believe I will be OK. I keep going back to that great quote in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel movie, “Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not yet the end. ”



    Hugs to you, lovinggirl. I understand the pain of loss and the fear of the unknown. You are a strong, independent woman and you can handle this! What would going back to him give you, more of the same? You deserve more and you know it. Like Mark said, we don’t have a crystal ball and can’t tell you without a doubt you will “find someone else”, but I’d encourage you to wrap loving arms around yourself and find YOU again. There is no loneliness worse than being lonely within a relationship, if you ask me. Each day is a new beginning for you and your son to embrace. Spoil yourself with a hot bath, a massage, a good run, a movie or book, whatever it is that makes you happy. It will get easier, that I can confidently promise.

    Mark, I love that quote and had it as my Facebook profile photo for awhile without knowing where it was from. I added the movie to my Netflix queue now 🙂

    Ryan Viola

    You are going through a big pain. IF you really missing him in your life for your children too. Lets talk to him and express your feelings and views honestly. Take that part and whatever be the decision , you have to except that which will make you proceed in your life in an ease.

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