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Loosing myself

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  • April 13, 2016 at 2:11 pm #101737
    Abigail
    Participant

    My name is Abigail and I am 16 years old. I was always dependent on my friendship with my best friend that I decided I didn’t need to make anymore friends. And when I lost my friendship with my best friend a few years ago, I became very lonely. (I also didn’t have a strong relationship with my family members). I got very depressed and desperate to find people who could make me happy, that I tried to fit the mould of other people’s personalities and traits, so that they would like me and I would eventually like them. This was not the case. For a while, I have felt like I have lost my personality and I don’t have anything interesting enough to share with people. I have people around me that sometimes try to make an effort but I either A. get very socially awkward and think they are judging me or B. am not happy around them because I don’t know what makes me laugh anymore or what makes me feel things. This probably sounds crazy but I just want to know that other people feel this too and have comeback from this.

    April 13, 2016 at 3:11 pm #101746
    keine
    Participant

    Hi Abigail,

    If people around you are making an effort to be friends, let them! Apparently they see something in you that you are missing. Somehow, we often miss the beauty in ourselves that other people are able to see. You don’t have to be anyone but yourself!

    You will eventually rediscover what makes you laugh and makes you feel happy. This is something you can do on your own, without anyone else around. Remember the time when you were feeling a little better about yourself? Can you remember what you enjoyed doing then? Try to get back to some of those things.

    It’s easy to feel awkward socially and believe that others are judging you…does this happen when the group is doing some kind of activity together (like seeing a movie, playing games, etc.?) Focus on having fun–on YOU having fun. Your smile will infect others!

    You don’t sound crazy at all. I think you will be okay.

    April 14, 2016 at 12:39 pm #101889
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear abigailmartin:

    I am not surprised that trying “to fit the mould of other people’s personalities and traits, so that they would like me and I would eventually like them.” didn’t work for you, as it doesn’t work for anyone. And I tried it, and it failed for me too.

    I learned that there is no substitution to me Being and Becoming my own self. If I try to fit to others, then if they like me… they don’t really like me, only my fitting-in. So I remained unliked by others and unknown to myself.

    Please do share more…

    anita

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